Favorite Marshall Eriksen Quotes
I did it again!
Lily: Marshall, your insurance doesn't kick in till tomorrow.
Marshall: Yeah well you know what? Life kicks in right now!
Baby these satin sheets are slippery. Papa needs traction.
Marshall: Ted, I love you buddy, but there is no way you can pull off blonde.
Lily: Seriously, Ted, don't do it.
Ted: I'm going blonde!
Lily: Awwww.
Marshall: That is NOT the outcome we were hoping for.
Oh, you went around the bride. Oh, this hornet's nest looks harmless. Maybe I'll poke it with a stick. Oh, look, some gremlins, let me go feed them after midnight
Marshall: If I could nail any celebrity, it'd be Lily. She's the star of my heart.
Lily: For me, it would be Hugh Jackman
Marshall: Hey food guy! Toy guy! [about guy dressed as ninja]: who's that guy?
Barney: He doesn't work here... I think we should leave the building
Marshall: Really?
Barney: This has happened before
Marshall: But just to make sure it records, maybe we should bow our heads and say a quiet prayer to the TiVo gods.
Ted: Almighty TiVo, We thank you for all the gifts you have given us. The power to freeze live TV to go take a leak is nothing short of god-like. And let's not forget fast-forwarding through commercials. It seems greedy to ask anything more from you, o magic box, but if you malfunction and miss the Super Bowl, we will destroy you in the alley with baseball bats.
Marshall and Ted: Amen.
Lily: Well guys, have fun.
Ted: Woah, this is gonna be a major cleanup.
Everyone [saluting]: Major Cleanup!
Marshall: Oh man, we're gonna be doing this all the time now, aren't we?
Robin: That's the general idea.
Everyone [saluting]: General Idea!
It's not that the wings are too hot, it's that I already had wings earlier. Much earlier.
Old Marshall
Marshall [looking inside Barney's "Not a Fathers Day" card]: It appears to be some sort of Asian hooker.
Barney: Yes, because on Not a Fathers Day, you get a Thai you'd actually wear! Wordplay five!
Ted: They're killing each other!
Lily: They love each other.
Ted: Barney and Robin love each other, but they're not Barney and Robin anymore. They're the fat guy and the old lady.
Marshall: My favorite '70s detective show!
