Nolan: You scare me.
Emily: Good.

I smell the distinct aroma of retribution in the air.

Nolan: What are frick and frack doing here?
Jack: Getting loaded.
Nolan: And laid by the look of it.

Come on down. Testosterone's on the house.

The guy was feeding him shots like a frat boy to a freshman.

How did you get over to Lydia's house, Shamu?

The thud you hear is the sound of Lydia hitting the roof of the taxi five stories down.

It happened because your inner gladiator's finally waking up.

She's just delivering her dose of daily hell a little earlier than usual.

Emily: This wasn't part of the plan.
Nolan: Neither was aiding and abetting your evil twin.

Jack: You told me never to take dating advice from you.
Nolan: That was last week.

Violence is only one way to take someone down.

Revenge Quotes

Only luddites use snail mail.

Nolan

Emily: I'm not leaving you alone, Nolan.
Nolan: I love you, too.