Now, please, Assy Joe.

Jim: OK. You're a blackhearted piece of shit who has done more coke that Stevie Nicks and David Crosby combined.
Matt the Bat: All true. Continue. [vomits profusely]
Jim: Oh God. The four luck... the four luckiest women in the world are the ones who managed to heave your aggressively sinewy body off of them long enough to divorce you taking with them the only part of you they actually loved, which was your money. Alright? But that's blood. We gotta get you to the hospital. As soon as we get you better, I'll tell you all about the time I fucked your sister.
Matt the Bat: Which one?
Jim: I gotta give you some reason to get better, now, don't I? Now, come on. Gus? I need you to call an ambulance.
Gus: [from a neighboring urinal] Okay.
Jim: Now, please, Assy Joe.


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Episode:
Brockmire Season 3 Episode 3: "The Yips"
Show:
Brockmire
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Brockmire Season 3 Episode 3 Quotes, Brockmire Quotes
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Brockmire Season 3 Episode 3 Quotes

Jim: I don't have time, Shirley. The Yips are like a missing child. The first 24 hours are everyting. If you don't solve it by then, you might as well start checking dumpsters and ever-expanding concentric circles for what's left of my career!
Jim: Dammit. I thought sobriety was supposed to solve my problems, not invent new ones.
Shirley: Sobriety just reveals the problems you've been avoiding with drugs and alcohol.
Jim: Seriously?
Shirley: Mmm hmm.
Jim: Because I've got about 40 years of problems stacked up here. I can barely get through five seasons of Friday Night Lights.
Shirley: Oh, you should. It's really good.
Jim: After I watch Breakin' Bad.
Shirley: You haven't seen Breaking Bad?
Jim: Don't binge shame me, Shirley. I'm barely hanging on here.

Jim: Hugh the Human Pooper Scooper was deeply committed to the SCAT lifestyle. He used to actually pay prostitutes to squat over a glass coffee table...
Filmographer: You know Jim, I actually think we're good.
Jim: Wait. I have more.

Brockmire Season 3 Episode 3 Photos

  1. Quotes
  2. Now, please, Assy Joe.