Quotes
Ruxin: Doctor, I don't understand why you'd think I would lie to you.
Doctor: I don't know why you would lie to me. You seem to do it almost on instinct.
Ruxin: Yeah, that is my knee-jerk reaction--to lie. I'm just more comfortable swimming in those waters.
All women love "The Bachelor." This is like having a bunch of homeless Chris Harrisons!
Andre
Gina: Don't you just love bum fights?
Pete: Of course I love bum fights! Who doesn't love a good bum fight?
This would be so much more fun if we were naked.
Damon [to Elena]
Pete: I'm just focused on the hate-date.
Jenny: I don't know, Pete.
Andre: What about those flowers you got her?
Pete: They were hate flowers.
Andre: And the poem you wrote her?
Pete: Hate poem.
Wait! There's more. There's an old short fat man here. He sat with his young sleeping partner. Bring them a glass of the house red from us.
Dennis
Vincent: I can handle being Vincent Zilansky. Forever.
Cat: But if anything bad ever happened to you because I didn't want to go to a wedding alone, I would never be able to forgive myself. Thank you, but I cannot let you do this for me.
Taco: You can lead a horse to horse-c*ck, but you can't make him eat it.
Ruxin: That is not a Chinese proverb.
Taco: That's what it said on my fortune scrotum!
Andre: Gina, you look absolutely stunning tonight.
Gina: Thank you, although it's not really a compliment coming from you, because you look like you run the jerk-off stand at a Romanian sex circus.
My eyes slant down. I don't have a good peripheral.
Mac
Me, too. I did my hair good and I wore two colognes.
Mac
I am so relieved, I feel as festive as you look.
Vincent