Charlie: Why is your face so shiny?
Dennis: I had my face peeled off with chemicals. Wanna know why?
Charlie: Not really.

I'm not drinking bleach.

Bar patron to Charlie

Dee is guilty of sloth...and she's pro-abortion.

Mac [to priest]

Everyone knows who Superman is and it's not you!

Charlie [to Dennis]

You look like Superman.

Dee [to Dennis]

I drank three bottles of champagne and hung out with a stray dog all night under a bridge. It was sweet.

Mac

He said 'fire off'...I like that.

Mac [referring to musclehead]

Dee [to Dennis]: What in God's name have you done to your face?
Mac: You look like a monster.

I'm going to the crevice!

Charlie

What are you looking to do? Flash cook a gyro?

Charlie [to Frank]

What the shit is going on around here?

Frank

How did your friends make you fat? Were they force feeding you?

Priest