Quotes
Jess, you know what, I'll let you check my lost and found...got sizes zero through ten.
Schmidt
Jess: So Coach said they used to play basketball in college, but then Winston went pro?
Schmidt: In Latvia, okay? He went pro in Latvia. It's a big difference. The team logo is a fig. Just one single fig!
Jess (about Winston, the new roommate): I'm so excited to meet him!
Nick: No Jess, he's sleeping. He flew in late last night, we took him straight to the bar, took a bunch of shots, got drunk, screamed I love America.Now he's happily passed out.
I have to get to school cause it's astronomy day and I'm dressing up as Galileo, so I have to put on my beard.
Jess
Schmidt: You consider me a sexy man, correct?
Jess: I don't know how to answer that question
You've already lost one career. Are you trying to make it two?
Bud
Ethan: I'm just your bitch, aren't I?
Megan: Stop pretending you don't like it.
Am I wrong or are you two fighting over me?
Peter
Kate: So we're good?
Megan: Define good.
I think we have enough dirty laundry around our office without me adding to it.
Peter
Dad said he had to force himself to drink beer before he started to like it.
Lacey
You can take Gemma to the ballet tonight. The two of you can talk about how much you hate your husbands.
Andrew