Quotes
Ted: How's the open marriage going? Who was the first to get to five numbers?
Lily: I won that race. My prize, sex in the bathroom.
Marshall: And I won that race!
Look what I just ripped out of the ground!
Jerry
Are you two dummies out in the yard again playing human Whac-A-Mole?
Jules
Barney: Hey Jerry, do you really want to be out here like this?
Jerry: Oh sorry small town preacher from the Midwest! Is there a law against dancing?
Marshall: Game on! If I can score five numbers before you can, then we have sex in the bathroom but, if you can score five numbers before me, then we have sex in the bathroom.
Lily: So our usual wager. Deal!
I finally know what it's like to be embarrassed by my dad.
Barney
I want to hang out with Crazy Jerry not Stay at Home Jerome.
Barney
My dad will be all, why don't you marry Robin? You guys were cute together. Deep down you know you were never happier than when you were with her.
Barney
Robin, no one watches the news unless it's a car chase or a nip slip.
Barney
Tonight's gonna be Leden-Jerry!
Barney
Silver [after reconciling with Adrianna]: How do we make it better?
Adrianna: Break up with him.
You've both been friends a really really long time. Hope you don't let some idiot like me ruin that.
Navid [to Silver and Adrianna]