You're only as food as your last flash, huh?


Chuck: You're firing me from the Buy More?
Morgan: You kidding me? You're the best nerd herder we got. I'm firing you as my best friend.

I'm not a machine! Okay I am a machine, but I'm also a person.


Wilson: Your biological father is a minister?
House: Natural selection is not an infallible force.

If you're gonna be this way, I'm not gonna invite you to my baptism.


Read chapter 6. Entitled "Shut the Hell Up."


Giving House a computer is like giving plutonium to Dr. No.


Cappie: Spitter, do you know what Mardi Gras is?
Rusty: It's French for Fat Tuesday which is a culmination of a carnival period beginning with the Twelfth Night.
Cappie: Wrong, it's a time when we try to get girls to show us their boobs for beads.

(To Rusty) I think you are a great person and we have had one relatively successful date. And I do not want to go to Yale a virgin, so I have decided to lose my virginity to you, tonight, if you are amenable.


Being here at school is like Mardi Gras and the rest of life is like Lent, right? You gotta get it all out before you give it all up.


Not only do I have a chance to be her first, I'm guaranteed to be her best.


Calvin: What would you say if I told you I knew of a way for you to make a whole lot of money for one night's work?
Evan: I'd say you want to harvest my organs.
Calvin: No, Gentleman's Choice needs a little extra help tonight.
Evan: Oh, you want to harvest THAT organ.