Jessica: Eddie! That's very expensive. If you want to waste something, you waste water. Do not throw juice.
Eddie: Mom, get out of my fantasy!
Eddie: Jessica, water does not project success. Capri Sun does. As does Cattleman's Ranch Ribs. Great pork at a fair price. Come on flight girls. Try a rib tell a friend.
Jessica: This is not free! I'm going to charge you all!

Louis: Stop reading those books. Those stories give you nightmares.
Jessica: You know what gives me nightmares. Our bank account. Stephen King should publish my checkbook.

Eddie: I had to find a way to fit in or be stuck eating lunch with the janitor and his kite
(cut to janitor)
Janitor: I'm just saying don't call it a fruit salad if it's nothing but melons.

Pride: Know that joke? "How can you tell a politician is lying?"
Brody: "His lips are moving."
Pride: That's it. Save yourself some embarrassment.

Brody: Everyone always accuses me of running. But there is a difference between running and putting something behind you!
Loretta: There is. But if you keep avoiding that something, people still wonder if you have your track pants and jogging shoes on.

Loretta Wade: Merri, how I see this space: it's my temple. And all who enter here are afforded solace and protection. And that goes for both the dead as well as the living.

"Lab assistant" is not cool!

Patton Plame

Ava: Can't imagine he'd suspect the man trying to rob him is the woman underneath him.
Katharine: I wasn't always underneath him.

I'm telling you not to get your ass bit.

Art

You gonna give me 24 hours to get out of town, Deputy US Marshal Raylan Givens?

Avery

I want Sigourney Weaver to choke me out with her thighs.

Tim

What up, pimps?

Dickie