I just realized I got so good at taking selfies, I wasn't feeling challenged anymore.

Elijah

I think it's really important to be honest even if it's really difficult.

Shoshanna

Marnie: I am not the mistress.
Ray: You are 1000 percent the mistress.
Marnie: Not if I end up with him.

Oh hey, I see you haven't back off on the self tanner.

Jessa [to Elijah]

You shouldn't have to do porn to feel appreciated.

Lois

Wait, hold on Brian, everyone deserves a proper funeral. Why do you think we're saving that VCR box in the basement?

Stewie

How bout I just take 'head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.'

Stewie

Stewie: Hey Brian, show her your Boost mobil phone.
Brian: Stewie has AIDs.

Peter: It feels like just yesterday, she was born!
Doctor: You want to cut the cord?
Peter: Yeah, sure!
Doctoer: Okay that wasn't the cord, and now you've got a girl.

Lois: Is that what you really thoguht?
Peter: I did, I really did.

What!? Why's there an animated one of me and you doing it on there?

Peter

Oh yeah, every woman looks great in a sundress.

Brian