Milton: Listen to me damn it, I'm a doctor.
Jack: Of history. In what emergency would you be necessary? If someone wanted to know whether the 60s were awesome or not?
Milton: They were!

It's about the party! I want to eat shrimp off an old gay dressed as baby new year.

Jenna

Milton: Think of what I've lost...going on father and son habitat for humanity builds, and road trips in my VW van.
Jack: Yeah, or other things.

Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old

Liz

Milton: By the way we have a tradition in my family where we let the child name itself.
Jack: Absolutely not.
Milton: Well suit yourself, but my son Spiderman turned out just fine.

Jack what are you doing? You promised me a drama free dinner. I could be sitting at the corner table at the K-Mart Cafe right now.

Liz

I've never seen her this upset since Hurricane Katrina. The coverage pre-empted a tampon commercial she was in.

Liz

Jack: I know some things you've done that you would not want me to bring up right now.
Colleen: Most people thought I was a hero for killing Lydia's parrot.

Jack: I knew you would do this...take a happy moment and ruin it, just like you did when I won that scholarship at my high school graduation.
Colleen: It should've gone to the other boy!

I didn't care much for the gazpacho soup. I mean where's the fun of sending it back because it isn't hot?

Colleen

I gotta stay serious. From now on the only movies Tracy Jordan makes are about the Holocaust, Georgia O'Keefe, or both.

Tracy

Obesity is killing the African-American community...with laughter.

Kenneth

30 Rock Season 5 Episode 10 Quotes

Pete: Ever since Tracy got nominated for a Golden Globe, he thinks he's Sean Penn.
Liz: Well they both have had screaming fights with Wyclef Jean.

It's my new thing, travel on Christmas Day. That way I avoid the annual Lemon family blow up, and this year it's going to be a doozy. My aunt Linda is bringing her new boyfriend who is neither her age nor her race, and her ex-husband will also be there with his date...alcoholism. I swoop in the next day for presents and pie.

Liz