Liz: Your lizard cannot be the music guest on the show.
Tracy: Of course not! His album doesnt drop until December!

Liz: Did you crash?
Carol: No, but it was pretty scary. I mean, well not like the stuff I saw in the Air Force, of course. Like this one time a bunch of us pilots got together and went to a haunted house in Germany. That was messed up!

Jack: Jenna, have you been drinking?
Jenna: No, Jack. Well I had a bottle of wine with dinner.

Oh no! My Oprah wig is falling off. This is an exciting mishap. This is live!


Carol: Lizzy if something were to happen, I want you to know that I...I need you to go to Raleigh, to my apartment and just clear out all the porn before my mom gets there.
Liz: That's it?
Carol: I also need you to Tivo Bones for me in case I survive.

No non-essential chatter Liz, I'm having the worst flight of my career. We got wind shear, lightning, turbulence, the in-flight meal was a frittata!


Baby, let's let the dog watch us. Do you think he understands the love that we have? Oops, I'm finished. Call yourself a cab.

Dr. Leo Spaceman (singing)

Jenna: President O'Bama, in your own words, why are you a terrorist that hates America?
Tracy: That's an excellent question...Uh oh, I'm doing something called "breaking" Blahahahaha. Snort. Heehee. Giggle giggle. The audience loves this!

You're the real stars! Not really.


Liz: No breaking. Promise?
Tracy: I promise. I swear on my mother's grape.
Liz: Did you say grave or grape?
Tracy: Yes. Goodbye.

Tracy: It was funnier than the porn version. And the best part is when the actors started cracking up. They laughed so hard they couldn't even finish the skit.
Liz: Uh huh, and you're point is?
Tracy: I would like to do that please.

Kenneth: Oh and the Chilean miners are all out and they're very angry about what you've been saying about them.
Jenna: So I guess they're geniuses for getting stuck in a mine?

30 Rock Season 5 Episode 4 Quotes

Jack: Why are you better looking in your memory?
Liz: My memory had Seinfeld money.

Does it seem weird in here to you? Everything looks like a Mexican soap opera.