30 Rock Season 3 Episode 19: "The Ones" Quotes
Somewhere right now a guy is on a J-Date with Monica Lewinsky. Nobody's perfect.
Jack
My God. I already put my wedding announcement in Cigar Aficionado.
Jack
Oh for God's sake, what is this, Third Watch?
Jenna
[to Jack, in "What The Frak?" shirt] I'm sorry to tell you such a dark tale in such a silly shirt.
Elisa
Blue writing on green ... why?!?
Liz
Elisa has a big secret! My current theory is that she's the mother of those Michael Jackson kids!
Liz
I called 911. They wouldn't even connect with their celebrity service.
Jenna
Wigco.com? Sheinhardt's Wig's user-generated content site. All that anybody ever posted on it were penises.
Jack
Really? That's your guess? I'm a man?
Elisa
You're wise, Liz Lemon. Like a genetically-manipulated shark.
Tracy