Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXArcher Season 5 Quotes
Archer: Whatever happened to "Team Archer?"
Cyril: Please tell me that was never a real thing to you
And why are you dressed like the whore the rest of the trailer park finally decided they had to stone to death?
Malory
Do the right thing, Cyril. You have nothing to live for.
Cyril, make sure it's good and tight. (pause) Haha, why are we still not doing phrasing?
Cyril: Do you think those guys are Doctors Without Borders?
Archer: Yes Cyril, I do. I bet those assault rifles shoot polio vaccines.
Cyril: Go where?
Archer: Well long term, I was thinking home. Short term, somewhere that's not the crocodile version of a drive thru.
Blah blah blah, some joke about you two having vaginas, let's go.
Cyril: Well, you did set the raft on fire.
Ray: Oh my God, you always take his side!
Cyril: I never, ever, EVER take his side!
Ray: Crocodiles don't have ears!
Archer: They absolutely have ears, shit-head!
Cyril: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Archer: Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.
I took three Valium. If I get any more relaxed I will literally die.
Malory
What? I don't think it's racist to assume that a previously uncontacted tribe of indigenous peoples might react unpredictably, perhaps even wildly, to a bunch of white guys who walk up and hand them a goddamn M16!
