Arrested Development Season 1 Episode 13: "Beef Consomme" Quotes
(Reading off George Sr.'s crimes)
Judge Ping: Conspiracy, racketeering, evidence tampering, fraud, theft, grand theft, petty theft.
Barry: Wow, I-I did not get that page.
Michael: I got to tell Gob.
Marta: No, I have to tell him.
Michael: Yes, but-but you-you speak a little slowly, and I really want to get this thing moving along. So, listen. You do the noble thing, and you tell him you've met someone else. I'm going to do the noble thing, and tell him that it's me. While I'm doing my noble thing, you could put those photos in a box, get rid of the wand, and we can do the wrong thing the right way.
Marta: You sound like your brother.
Michael: Oh, thank you.
Marta: Gob is like the cock of the walk, but not you. You are so kind. You're sensitive, like a woman.
Michael: That's enough.
You're a good guy, mon frre. That means "brother" in French. I don't know why I know that. I took four years of Spanish!
Gob
Michael: I owe you an apology.
Marta: No, I owe you an apology. I'm so ashamed that I was so disrespectful to your brother.
Michael: Oh, who cares? Nobody respects him.
Tobias: When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually ... When a man loves a woman, and he actually wants to make love to her, something very, very special happens. And with deep, deep concentration and great focus he is often able to achieve an erec --
George Michael: I'm sorry, I'm going to stop you here.
That's one of the things that attracted me to you; your sense of right and wrong. I also like your hair and your face and your breasts.
Michael
What is wrong with you? I thought you were good people. I thought you were noble. I thought you care about family, but you clearly don't. It's over. Both of you. It's over.
Marta
Barry: What are you doing? They'll add ten years to your sentence.
George, Sr.: They'll never catch me!
Lucille: Look, you're my husband, and you belong back at home with me.
George, Sr.: You really love me.
Lucille: Call it what you want. I'm tired of paying Lupe to clean one dish.
Maeby: I'm glad to have this family, you know. 'Cause I know I said some bad stuff, but it's much better here than it was in Boston. And I have a cousin here, so even if my parents do get divorced, I have you, right?
Narrator: George Michael realized that no matter how much it upset him, he didn't want to take Maeby's family away from her.
George Michael: Yeah, you got us all right.
Maeby: Now, all I need is a boyfriend.
(about Maeby) She's not real. She was made in a cup. Like soup. $130,000 cup of soup.
Lucille
