Michael: Well, he hasn't been here.
Marta: But he said he was staying here. Oh, my God. Maybe he's staying with another woman.
Michael: No, no, no. No, no, no. No, he is staying here. I just haven't seen him here ... the foyer, or the kitchen.
Marta: Well, that's a relief.

Gob: Real needle, real apple. Real neck.
Amable: He's a zombie!
Marta: They're children! How could you do that?
Gob: Oh, sure, first you dump all over it, now you want to know how it's done.

Marta: I was just looking for Gob.
Michael: Well, you're his girlfriend.
Narrator: Michael wished Marta was his girlfriend, a secret he had only shared with Lindsay.
Marta: Actually, we had a big fight. He thought I was belittling his career, but I never would do that.
Michael: Neither would I. What career?
Marta: The magic?
Michael: Oh, the tricks, the little tricks. Those are great.

George Michael: What are you doing?
Michael: I'm doing a little cost projection analysis for a mini mall.
George Michael: Wow, that's pretty cool you know how to do all that stuff.
Michael: Yeah, maybe your old man's just a little bit cooler than you thought he was, huh?

Cab driver: Where to, mate?
Tobias: The Gothic Castle.
Cab driver: Gothic a**h*le?
Tobias: That's what I said!

Rallo: Tell me, where did you get two alliance approved assistants on such short notice?
Gob: Oh, no, that was just my girlfriend and my nephew!
Rallo: You're back out.

Michael: I'm a saint, you know. I'm a living saint, and I get absolutely nothing out of it.
Lindsay: Well, you get a false feeling of superiority.
Michael: That is nice, but this time it's not enough.

Buster: And I'm going to continue dating, Mom.
Michael: It sounds a little bit like dating Mom.
Buster: It's starting to feel a little like it.

Lucille: Oh, don't give me that look. I happen to be a more caring mother than most.
Buster: Where's my bed?
Lucille: I put it in storage.

Lucille: (about Lucille 2) She changed him as a baby!
Michael: Ok, that's about the creepiest thing I've ever heard.
Buster: That's why she didn't look surprised.

Michael: Call me what you want ...
Lindsay: An impotent man-boy.

Lucille: You're the only one who chose a spouse I liked and she had to die.
Michael: I know, that's rough for you.

Arrested Development Season 1 Episode 9 Quotes

George Michael: It's like you said. You can't change who you are. So what? So, I don't have any hair on my arms or legs. So what? You know, a leather jacket's not going to change that. You know, I was trying to act like a tough guy, and it's wrong. I'm just a boring, old nice guy like you.
Michael: I'm not that nice.

Michael watched as the brother he swore to stop helping enjoyed the girlfriend he helped him reunite with. And so, he returned to work, accepting the fact that he was a good guy. But not as good as everyone thought.