Kitty: Do you like my outfit?
Gob: Not as much as I like what's underneath it.
Kitty: Gob!
Gob: No, I need your chair. Get up.

George Michael: Ok ... So, why are we doing this?
Maeby: 'Cause it's obvious they're lying. Come on, drive!
George Michael: Well, what if they see us?
Maeby: How are they going to see us?
George Michael: Well, it says "Bluth Company" right on the side, plus it's a stairway. That's gonna catch the eye.

Tobias: Ok, kids. Mommy and daddy are going out for ice cream.
Maeby: Can we come?
Lindsay: Sorry, it's not for kids.

Daddy horny, Michael.

George Sr.

I'm no David Schwimmer, and you're no Jennifer Aniston!

Dr. Gunty

That's none of your business ... My business.

Kitty

Gob: I *bleep* Kitty!
Michael: Oh, Gob! I just wanted you to get the information.
Gob: I got the information.
Michael: You did, huh? About the international accounts?
Gob: Oh, I see what you're getting at. No, I didn't get any information.

George Sr.: I haven't had sex in a month.
Michael: You know, you've been here two months.
(Pause)
George Sr.: It's hard to gauge time.
Michael: Yeah. I'll bet.

Gob: Take off your glasses. Oh ... Wait, wait. Let down your hair. No, glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
Gob: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How's that? Is that better?
Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

Kitty: Gob? I wish I would have know you were coming. I am a mess.
Gob: Don't know if a call from me would've changed that.

(to a waiter) Take it back. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear.

Lucille

Kitty: Your wife's on line one.
Narrator: Michael's wife had been dead for two years.
Michael: My what?
Narrator: Kitty realized her mistake.
Kitty: I said, 'your wife is on line one.'
Narrator: But not immediately.

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes

Um, I forget their name, but I know they're hungry. I think some are thirsty.

Lindsay

(talking about the money their fund-raiser brought in) Well, most of that money was from the Bluth Company. I mean, how ...
(Michael looks surprised) ... are you?

Tobias