Man: So you think all Black people look alike?
Larry: I think all computers look alike.

Richard: What's half a double D?
Larry: No, B minus. Minus is closer to the D. What's closer to the D? The minus or the plus?

You're comparing breasts with balls? People hate balls.


I have no problem with crying in a grocery store. I would suggest, however, the next time you feel overwhelmed by something, to go to a different section.


Woman: Do you want to apologize to my dog? Because you really yelled at my dog.
Larry: Yeah, it's very hard to apologize to a dog because they're a stupid animal.

I don't know where you were living before, but I think this would probably be a step up. You hit the jackpot with this place, huh?


She was upset? Her dog pooped all over my yard, three times.


I could be a burlesque dermatologist.


Richard: How did you see a small mole from where you were sitting?
Larry: Well I have breast vision.

Stella: It sounds like you appreciate the art form.
Larry: Well I appreciate naked women.

You called me old? You're two days older than I am.


Funkhouser: We ought to do this more often.
Larry: Come to disgusting strip clubs?

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 8 Episode 2 Quotes

Have you set a day aside when you're gonna finally look at her face?


Richard: A lot of people call me who are suicidal.
Larry: I don't think you'd be my suicide call.