Desperate Housewives Season 2 Episode 24: "Remember (2)" Quotes
Xiao-mei: I can go now, too?
Gabrielle: No, you can start dinner.
Xiao-mei: What?!
Gabrielle: You're not going anywhere, not as long as you have my baby in your belly.
(Xao-Mei speaks aggressively in Chinese)
Gabrielle: I don't know what that meant, but I didn't like the tone. So just remember, I am the boss of you, or else I'm gonna make this the worst nine months of your life.
Carlos: Okay, Gaby, can we please talk about this?! You're the one that gave me permission, remember? You said, "go have sex with somebody"!
Gabrielle: To have meaningless sex, Carlos. Not to sleep with the woman who's carrying our child!
Carlos: What is the matter?! Look, we're even! You had an affair, and I had an affair!
Gabrielle: I had a reason to. You were never here! I've been here, Carlos. I have tried so hard to not be selfish and to put your needs above mine. I mean, for god sakes, look at me! I have agreed to be a mother for you!
Carlos: Look, Gaby, you have every right to be mad at me. So I'm gonna go and check into a hotel room and let you cool down, but we are going to work this out.
Gabrielle: Forget the hotel, Carlos. Get a lease.
Susan: I've got everything ready to go-- flowers, candles, Elvis Costello CD all cued up.
Gabrielle: But who has the ring?
Susan:He does.
Gabrielle: So, wait, you're gonna get down on one knee, pop the question, and while you're down there, dig in his pocket?
Lynette: What if you pull out his key chain?
Susan: Then I'm gonna have to find a way to force it on my finger.
Bree: My children were my life. They were the reason that I got up in the morning, so to have failed them as a parent...
Psychiatrist: You think you failed them as a parent?
Bree: Well, my son is a sociopath, and my daughter hates me enough to have run away from home. I'm certainly not gonna get "mother of the year" anytime soon.
Psychiatrist: If your kids were here right now, what would you tell them?
Bree: I would beg my son Andrew for forgiveness for having given up on him, and I would tell my daughter not to worry, that I have a plan to protect her.
Psychiatrist: And just what is that plan?
Psychiatrist: I'm sorry. I don't mean to be flip, but you came here because you were troubled, and then you refuse any help we give you.
Bree: Things were falling apart at home, and I just...I just needed a place to rest, that's all.
Psychiatrist: I think there's more to it than that.
Bree: Do you?
Psychiatrist: I think it has to do with your kids. You don't want to talk about them. Why is that?
Bree: Probably because I'm ashamed.
Dr. Barr: Hey there. I was surprised to hear you wanted a session.
Bree: Well, there's nothing like being tied to a bed to change a girl's mind.
Dr. Barr: What do you wanna talk about?
Bree: Anything at all. As you said, I...I have a lot of issues.
Dr. Barr: Well, I assumed as much when you told the ridiculous story about your daughter running off with a murderer.
Bree: Saw right through that, did ya?
Dr. Barr: Well, I'm a trained professional, Bree. The human mind is my playground.
Bree: Well, I'm glad that you're having fun.
Lynette: I don't see another way to make this work. We've gotta dip into the pensions.
Tom: Oh, I don't like the sound of that.
Lynette: Well, it's that or the kids college fund. We'll write Nora one big check, and in return, she'll sign away her claim for the back child support. If we're lucky, she'll take the bird in the hand.
Tom: Okay, what are we talking about? How much?
Lynette: Well, we need to show her we're serious. $30,000.00?
Tom: Are you kidding? Thirty?
Lynette: If she takes you to court, we'll lose and end up paying 11 years of child support all at once. We could lose the house.
Nora: Hey, you! You must be Lynette.
Lynette: And you must be Nora.
Nora: I guess it'd be weird if we hugged.
Lynette: Probably.
Tom: Wh...where's Kayla?
Nora: Oh, she didn't come. We got into this huge fight, and I was, like...I just couldn't stand to look at her face on that long plane trip, so I dumped her at the neighbors. But, hey, come on, you got me.
Lynette: I must have been crazy, agreeing to this.
Tom: Honey, you're gonna feel differently once you meet Kayla. She is sweet, smart little girl, plus it'll help you get past your resentment of Nora.
Lynette: I don't..Well, here goes.
Xiao-mei: Here, taste this.
Carlos: Oh, man! Xiao-mei, that is amazing.
Xiao-mei: You like?
Carlos: Oh, yeah. Sorry if I'm making a mess.
Xiao-mei: It's okay. Mu Shu Pork. Supposed to be messy.
Carlos:I wish Gabrielle could cook like this. Have you ever tried her enchiladas?
Xiao-mei:One time they make me sick.
So I'm gonna go shopping and then I'm gonna see my trainer, and I'll definitely be gone for, like, three hours. Okay. Well, I gotta go. Have fun.
Gabrielle
John: Well, you should be. I mean, the guy's never around. Hell, he's probably off having his own affair right now.
Gabrielle: Oh. I seriously doubt that.
John: How do you know?
Gabrielle:Because Carlos doesn't have an adulterous bone in his body. What we just did he could never do. For him, sex isn't just sex. it's a sign of intimacy. It's the way he shows love. You know, instead of talking and listening and spending time with me. (John kisses Gabrielle softly) What was that for?
John: Thought you needed a kiss.