Mom, you're fighting for him. What guy doesn't like that?

Penny

Do me a favor and wait until I leave to restock the books. I can't cry again today.

Gaby

You're here. You're queer, and I'm used to it.

Bree

I'm not going to waste a plus one at my wedding unless it's serious.

Renee

As much as death takes from us, it also gives. It teaches us what is truly important, like giving back after a lifetime of taking, going after something we should have never let go of, or looking on to what made us who we are.

Mary Alice

I love you once. I love you twice. I love you more than beans and rice.

Mike

Carlos: Hey babe, I'm in the middle of something.
Gaby: Obviously not shaving or putting on deodorant. You look like a terrorist.

It's like royal wedding with a hint of slut.

Gaby

I don't know how to tell people what kind of man Mike was... what kind of father, husband and friend he was. I just never thought I would have to sum up his life before he was done living it.
 

Susan

We all take the gift of life for granted, if only we could slow things down because before you knew it, the gift is gone.

Mary Alice

What are you doing? That's my suicide pie!

Mrs. McCluskey

No, I can't kill you today. I have Pilates.

Bree

Desperate Housewives Season 8 Quotes

Chuck: Don't take this the wrong way, but you could do this professionally.
Bree: Coming from a man who's on a first name basis with half the hookers in Fairview, that's quite a compliment to take, Detective.

We're not criminals. We drive carpool.

Susan