Eric: Do this movie.
Vince: Can you get me suit approval?
Ari: You can wear tube socks and a yarmulke
Vince: All right! Lock it down

Eric: I don't know what you guys are making such a big deal about. I've been to the mansion, it's not that great.
Turtle: You were at an afternoon fundraiser for Alzheimer's, E. I don't think that's what Mr. Hefner had in mind when he opened the joint.
Eric: Nah, I'm sure he was dreaming about your fat ass running around the place in pajamas

Turtle: You sat at Hugh Hefner's table?
Drama: Yeah, during the Melrose years.
Eric: Don't you mean the Melrose months Drama?

Eric: We got to call Hugh Hefner to get Drama's ban lifted at the mansion.
Ari: What am I, his pimp?

Johnny Drama: [to the producer] You look familiar.
Audition Producer: You auditioned for me a couple of years ago.
Johnny Drama: Oh yeah yeah, how did that go?
Audition Producer: [pauses, doesn't really know what to say] You know...
Johnny Drama: Yeah, you can't book 'em all.

Eric: You know what, I don't even have health insurance.
Ari Gold: Yeah, but I bet you had it over at Quiznos.
Eric: Sbarro's. And I had a business card.
Ari Gold: There you go.

Everybody knows the best whores in the country are in Vancouver.

Drama

Ari: From now on ask my permission before you bang one of my assistants.
Eric: How'd you know that?
Ari: 'Cause I know all. And I could have told you that this would end badly. Now I gotta go fire her so you don't feel weird.
Eric: No. Don't fire her.
Ari: All right. Well, I'll just sexually harass her until she quits.

Ari: You deal with talent the same way that you deal with women. You have to make them believe that they need you more then you need them.
Eric: He doesn't need me that much.
Ari: Of course he doesn't need you. You're fucking worthless. I could get a million morons to come in here and do the job. That's not the point.
Eric: Then what is the point, Ari?
Ari: The point is that he is an insecure fuck, like all beautiful-but-handed-everything-on-a-silver-platter people. He doesn't trust anyone in this world but you. You've been born into royalty baby. You know it. Now you just gotta be thankful, and wear the crown.

I thought you already were his manager. Because believe me I would not put up with this much shit from anyone who wasn't.

Ari

I'm ready to go, baby. I'm like R. Kelly at recess

Ari

Johnny Drama: If you play gay or retarded you get an Oscar. I'd take in the ass for an Oscar.
Turtle: You'd take in the ass for a guest spot on The Hughleys.

Entourage Season 1 Quotes

They drive that way in Tienanmen Square, bitch?

Ari

Turtle: Kristin's fucking Vince Vaughn!
Eric: What are you talking about? She's back with that restaurant guy...
Turtle: She was in the middle of 40 Deuce with her hands down Vince Vaughn's pants.
Eric: She had her hands down his pants?!
Drama: Yeah, both of 'em.
Eric: Vince Vaughn?! That puffy motherfucker?!
Drama: Nah, bro, he didn't look puffy at all. He was looking real good.
Turtle: Yeah, it was kinda like "Swingers" Vince Vaughn, not Old School Vince Vaughn... it's kinda like New School Vince Vaughn