Gus use to guard a Ming Dynasty imperial tomb.

Stanton

Jared: My feet are sticking to the floor.
Peter: That's good party traction.

I like zombies. They're predictable. They never get tired and they don't take the associates out for '70s roller disco night on the firm's credit card.

Rachel

We can't go home. Not while the tent is up.

Pindar

Infeld: I hired you boys to shake up the zombie culture but I think you've over-corrected.
Jared: You can't over-correct zombie culture.

Gloating is for people who aren't accustomed to winning.

Rachel

It's the mop who wiped the floor with your naked asses last week.

Damien

You have no idea how lame you sound.

Peter

I've got to figure out how to be on TV naked more often.

Jared

I don't find nudity funny.

Peter

You think everyone's head looks tiny because you've got a huge head. You look like a Mardi Gras float.

Jared

Who the hell are Franklin and Bash?

Piers Morgan

Franklin & Bash Quotes

See that's a talent, sounding like a total asshole even when you're supposedly saying something sincere.

Franklin

"Sorry, sorry. Jean Claude Van Damme marathon last night. Unavoidable.

Franklin