Monica: You know it's funny, the last time Paolo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right. Okay, but, but you have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.

(To Paolo) Okay, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.

Phoebe

Monica: Guys, you got your hair cut.
Chandler: Yes, yes, we did, thanks to Vidal Buffay.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.

Rachel: (Panting) Ross... not alone. Julie... arm around her... Cramp... Cramp!
Chandler: Okay, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick get the verbs.
Rachel: You... you you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slow pokes!
Ross: That's okay, Rach. We got the bags.

Frankie: How long do you want the cuffs?
Chandler: Well, at least as long as I have the pants.

Ross: There was always this little voice saying "It's never gonna happen." You know whose voice that was?
Chandler: God's?
Ross: It was you.
Chandler: Maybe it was God doing me. I mean besides being all powerful and mighty, He's a wiz at voices.

Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Monica: (To Julie) It's an expression.

Ross: (About Monica's new haircut) How's the hair?
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side which seems to have stopped the curling.
Joey: Can we see her?
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would just upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.

Joey: Hey Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.
Chandler: Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?

Ross: We have to get some sleep. It's really six o'clock tomorrow night our time.
Chandler: Okay, but don't tell me what happens cause I like to be surprised!

(About Paolo) Okay, um well then I think, uh, I think the guy's scum. I mean it, I mean, I actually, I ...I physically hate him.

Rachel: Excuse me, who gave her our phone number?
Phoebe: Okay, well who had the motive? Was it the actor? The chef? The masseuse? Or... was it the guy who's dating her?
Joey: Guy who's dating! Guy who's dating her!

Friends Season 2 Episode 1 Quotes

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!

Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Monica: (To Julie) It's an expression.