Ross: I think my marriage is over.
Phoebe: Why?
Ross: Because Carol's a lesbian ... and I'm not ... and apparently it's not a mix-and-match situation ...

(Looking out the window) Wow, Cute Naked Guy's really starting to put on weight.

Phoebe

Ross: (His foot gets caught in the pool table's pocket while making out with Phoebe) I can't get it out.
Phoebe: That's not something a girl wants to hear.
Ross: Sorry... Ow!
Phoebe: What?
Ross: Stupid balls are in the way...

Rosss: My wife's a lesbian.
Joey: Cool!

Phoebe: No, Mr. Heckles, we weren't making any noise!
Mr. Heckles: You're disturbing my oboe practice.
Phoebe: You don't play the oboe.
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe.
Phoebe: Well, then I'm going to have to ask you to keep it down. (Slams the door)

Monica: Get ready for me to whip your butt!
Chandler: Okay, but after that, we're shootin' some pool!

Ross, foot on the floor, or come over no more.

Monica

I'm sorry, I find it hard to believe that a group of people that spend this much time together as you guys do, have never bumped uglies.

Janice

Phoebe: Do you know that I couldn't sleep for, like, a month because I got a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions?
Monica: Well, you could have just turned the cushion over.
Phoebe: I would have, except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other side.
Monica: What?!
Phoebe: See, this is what I'm talking about. I need to live in a land where people can spill!
Monica: You can spill . . . in the sink.

Rachel: Excuse me. Hello. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I don't think this is.
Waitress: I am so sorry.
Rachel: That's all right. (To her friends) I mean, how hard is it to get a couple of drinks right, huh?

Janice: Who of the six of you has slept with who of the six of you?
Phoebe: Wow, it's like a dirty math problem.

Joey: Don't worry, I'm totally okay with the gay thing.
Chandler: What gay thing?
Joey: Uh, just... you know, the whole people being gay... thing... totally cool with it.

Friends Season 3 Episode 6 Quotes

Phoebe: Do you know that I couldn't sleep for, like, a month because I got a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions?
Monica: Well, you could have just turned the cushion over.
Phoebe: I would have, except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other side.
Monica: What?!
Phoebe: See, this is what I'm talking about. I need to live in a land where people can spill!
Monica: You can spill . . . in the sink.

(About Carol) Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I'd been more nurturing, or I'd paid more attention, or I had a uterus.

Ross