Rachel: Yeah. Well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh! It was horrible. He called me young lady.
Chandler: Oh, I hate when my father calls me that.

You know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.

Joey

Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night. Saturday night!
Joey: No plans, huh?
Chandler: Not a one.

Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
Monica: Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.

Rachel: Excuse me, we had this cart!
Lady: Yeah, well, I had a 24 inch waist, you lose things.

Rachel: Come on! You guys can pee standing up.
Chandler: We can? All right, I'm trying that.

Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.
Chandler: I know. But it's just so hard, you know. I mean, you're sitting there with her. She has no idea what's happening. Then, you finally get up the courage to do it. There's that awkward moment when you've handed her the note. You try to run out of the restaurant before she's actually finished the note.
Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.

Monica: You're breaking up with Tony?
Phoebe: Yeah, he's sweet, but I don't know, it's just not fun anymore. I don't know if it's me, or his hunger strike, or...

(To Ross) You may want to rethink the dirty underwear. I mean, this is basically the first time she's going to see your underwear, do you really want it to be dirty?

Chandler

Rachel: Am I being like a total laundry spaz? Am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants?
Ross: Have you never done this before?
Rachel: Well, no, not personally, but I know other people who have. Okay, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.
Ross: Don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle.

Joey: You look good.
Angela: That's because I'm wearing a dress that accents my boobs.
Joey: You don't say.

Rachel: Don't you have a laundry room in your building?
Ross: Yes, I do have a laundry room in my building, um, but there's a... rat problem. Apparently they're attracted to the dryer sheets and they're going in fine, but they're coming out all... fluffy.

Friends Season 1 Quotes

Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it around my neck...
Chandler: Cookie?

Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Ross: No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?