Phoebe: I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's going to work? Ross equals boss. I mean, come on what is this, 1922?
Rachel: What's 1922?
Phoebe: Just, you know, long time ago. Well, when men used to tell women what to do... a lot. And then there was suffrage, which is a good thing but is sounds horrible.

Phoebe: (About tattoos) Um, I'm getting a lily for my Mom. 'Cause her name's Lily.
Chandler: Wow, that's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch?

Phoebe: Okay, Rach. Which, which lily? This lily or that lily?
Rachel: Well, I...
Phoebe: I like this lily. It's more open, you know, and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Oh! Foghorn Leghorn! Oh!

Judy: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
Ross: Uh, actually Mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.

Chandler: (About Joey finishing his cereal, licking his spoon, and putting it back in the silverware drawer) The spoon. You licked and, and you put. You licked and you put!
Joey: Yeah, so.
Chandler: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. (Joey looks sheepish) You used my toothbrush?
Joey: Well, that was only because I used the red one to unclog the drain.
Chandler: Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere.
Joey: Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap?
Chandler: Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning.
Joey: All right, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.

Phoebe: I'm getting a tattoo.
Ross: A tattoo? Why would you wanna do that?
Rachel: Don't you think that would be kinda cool?
Ross: No, sorry I don't. Why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right, Pheebs, and it's like I own a bad haircut all the time? (Awkward silence) Why is everyone staring at me?

Phoebe: Oh, look at you fancy lads. What's the occasion?
Joey: Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's having a brunch.

Phoebe: You know you should go outside and be with the three-dimensional people.
Joey: No, inside good, outside bad.

Richard: I'm going to look into your eyes now.
Monica: Really?
Richard: Yeah, that's my job. All right, look up... look down, now open your eyes, now look down. That's right, look into the light. Now look at me... Okay. Your eyes look good. Those are good eyes.

Monica: (About her date) It's Richard Burke.
Ross: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man. He's like a uh, brother to dad.

Ross: Well we just wanted to stop by and, uh, say goodnight.
Chandler, Joey, & Phoebe: Goodnight.
Ross: Look at that, they won't even turn their heads.
Rachel: All right you guys, I'm taking off my shirt.
Joey: (Using a spoon to look behind him) Nah, she's lying.

Ross: Hi.
Chandler & Joey: Hey.
Joey: What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be out with Rachel?
Ross: That was 14 hours ago.

Friends Season 2 Quotes

Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Monica: (To Julie) It's an expression.

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!