As soon as I figure out the difference between slander and libel, I'm suing you.

Sue

Student: Hey, Ms. Sylvester, let's get physical.
Sue: Not really my type, but I like that attitude.

I haven't had a drink in 45 minutes.

April

I hate Duke like I hate the Nazis.

Burt Hummel

I can't be your dad, but I'll be her hero for as long as she'll take me.

Burt Hummel

On assembly days, I arrange for the rest of the school to be fumigated, so the gym is the only place with clean air.

Sue

I feel like the guy who set of Liza and David Gest.

Kurt

Can you go now? I'm a half hour behind on my moisturizer routine, and I need to wake up early.

Kurt

Finn: I miss getting hit.
Kurt: Pure boyish insanity.

Will: The liquor cabinet is off limits.
April: No worries. I brought my own.

Don't sweat that old chair. I have a lovely chaise picked out.

Kurt

Weren't roller rinks outlawed in like 1981 for being totally lame?

Santana

Glee Season 1 Quotes

You buy us dinner and we make out in front of you. It's like the best deal ever.

Cheerleader

And that gay terrorist went on to become the first gay president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln.

Sue