Gossip Girl Season 3 Episode 5: "Rufus Getting Married" Quotes
Blair: What is this? It's wonderful!
Chuck: Buntautuk. I learned it from a master in Chiang Mai.
[to Lily] That was by far your best wedding. Who would have guessed nine months later Klaus would have Auf'ed?
Serena
I knew I let you kids watch The Parent Trap too many times.
[to Vanessa] Get Dan to dump the whore or I'm gonna tell the whole world Scott's secret. Which would be too bad because (a) That's the last thing he wants (b) How do you think Dan's going to feel when he learns that you knew his brother's been alive the whole time, and (c) are you going to hang out with when all the Humphreys hate you?
Georgina
Chuck: You're looking for Carter? The worm is dating my stepsister. If he did something, I need to know. An enemy of Carter Baizen is a friend of mine.
Bree: I can't really talk about it, but you should tell your stepsister to be careful. Oh, and if the worm pops out of the ground, let me know, ok?
Georgina: That was pathetic. Haven't you ever tried to get somebody to dump a celebrity before?
Vanessa: No.
Georgina: Why won't he respond to any of my calls or my texts or my animated e-cards?
Vanessa: Are you serious?
Georgina: The last one I sent him was this adorable singing dog.
Vanessa: Okay. Dan didn't write you back because (a) he broke up with you, (b) he's seeing someone else, and (c) even though I tried to defend you, you're a full-on crazy person.
Georgina: Wait, can we go back to (b) for a second?
Nate: So you're happy with Chuck. Don't I deserve to be happy as well?
Blair: Trust me, Nate, I know women, and none of us are that nice.
The toilets in Tokyo talk!
Dan
Vanessa: Why are you using my screen name again?
Dan: Because every time I log on, Georgina pounces on my IM.
Chuck: So Bree, you went home last week?
Bree: Yeah, I tried to mend the whole I'm-dating-a-Vanderbilt fence. Didn't work. We're southern, so family loyalty is big down there.
Blair: Like slavery! [awkward silence] What? I'm joking.
Carter: Go, talk to her.
Serena: Fine. Please, take my place at dim sum with my friends.
Carter: Dumplings with Blair and Chuck?
Serena: And Nate. You can do some recon for me. Blair hates Nate's new girlfriend, I want to know if she's really that bad. I bet Bree is perfectly nice even if she is a Buckley.
Carter: [pauses] Um, unfortunately, I do have more people owing me money to talk to.
