You fatties talking about diets again?


You're gonna be eating so much crow when I come back here with blue balls you're gonna have feathers coming out of your ass.


April: You have the morals of a crocodile.
Marty: Ha, said the rattlesnake.

Baby except for the whole murder thing, you are the perfect woman.


Listen that's not really my area of expertise. There are legal consultants but they have to do actual work.


Daddy, you're about to fall in love with us for we have officially found the creamy center of the Ho Ho.


Roscoe: Did you hear I'm being wrongfully charged like Joan of Arc?
Marty: We're going with Hurricane Carter buddy.

Hey Marty you gotta treasure your team, treat 'em right, love 'em up! Am I right Jeannie, who reminds me of my wife who left me after Marty's wife made her squirt?


Marty: What we have here, basically it is a failed culture OK? It's a broken pedagogical paradigm in The New Pacific School. What started out as say a system based on the near perfect theosophical teachings of Rudolph Steiner has now descended! It's now an outmoded anachronistic bastardization, well a limitation really, of its original intent...really.
Gita: Mr. Kaan? Mr. Kaan!
Marty: Yes.
Gita: I have a doctorate in education from Stanford.
Marty: Oh boy!

Fuckin' Utah!


You are good unless you screw up.


Doug: She was smiling at all of us.
Clyde: At your faces yes, but she was smiling at my cock.

House of Lies Quotes

Hey Dad, want me to teach you how to Dougie?


That woman can do more in bed than any post-menopausal woman has any right to be able to do.