Favorite How I Met Your Mother Quotes
My life rocks! Money, suits, and sex? These are tears of joy! I could be cooped up in an apartment, changing some brat's poopy diaper but instead I'm out in the world being awesome 24/7/365! You let me dodge a bullet, big guy
Barney
Ted: She didn't even give me the signal!
Barney: What, is she gonna bat her eyes at you in morse code? [bats eyes] Ted... kiss me. No! You just kiss her!
Ted: Not if you don't get the signal!
[Barney spontaneously kisses Marshall]
Barney: Did Marshall give me the signal?
Marshall: No! [to Lily] I didn't, I swear!
Do you think that if we did it...and I did a really good job...that I could turn that into my baby?
Barney
Robin: Are you reenacting the last scene from Sleepless in Seattle with little dolls?
Ted: How long have you been standing there?
Robin: Ten seconds.
Ted: Yup, just the last scene.
This phone is cursed - cursed I tell you.
Barney
Yes! Tonight is gonna be Legen... wait are we sure it's a good idea to go to a strip club? Shut Up Lily I'm in charge now... Dary!
Barney
Barney: Here's your toast, single file ladies! No fatties!
Ted: That's ridiculous.
Barney: Yeah you're right, it's Cleveland. Single file ladies!
Ted: Like I'm totally going to sit my kids down and talk to them about the time Barney nailed seven chicks in a row.
Future Ted: Am I a bad dad?
Laser tag knows no age restrictions, much like stripping in the Midwest
Barney
Hey I dare you guys to dare us to make out.
Lily
So you're the therapist. You know it's one thing to pretend to be a therapist and bang your patients, that's normal, but to do it for real? Little creepy bro.
Barney
Marshall: Tell him that I might not be able to give him a grandchild? I don't even know how to have that conversation.
Barney: I'll show you. Dad, uh there's something I need to tell you. It's going to come as a bit of a shock. You are speaking to the 2011 Tri County Laser Tag Co Champion.
