Mac: Oh, man, New Orleans really had their s**t figured out!
Dennis: Oh, they totally had their s**t figured out! Except for the levees.
Mac: Right, yeah, except for the levees.

This music sounds like whales raping each other.

Mac

Dee: Where is your breath?
Charlie: In my mouth?
Dee: No, no. It starts in your chest. You got to focus on your diaphragm.
Charlie: What the hell's a diaphragm?

You know what? Let me kick down a little thing to you that our founding fathers kicked down to me. It goes don't tread on me. And right now, you guy's are treading all over me!

Dennis: Failure implies that she actually tried to be an actor.
Dee: Okay, I did try. It just didn't happen to work out.
Frank: It's not your fault, sweetie. You're just not pretty enough.
Dee: Oh, thank you. That's my dad, everybody.

Charlie: I am done with rat detail. That's by far the worst job in the bar.
Dennis: Well, that's why we call it Charlie work.

Mac: This is why people flock to places like Las Vegas and New Orleans and spring break. Because they're free to go wild. The girls go wild. The girls in Philly need a place to go wild.
Dennis: Yeah, right. I mean New Orleans was washed away in that terrible, terrible storm. We need to open up Paddy's as a haven for freedom.
Mac: Yes.
Dennis: A replacement for the tragic loss of New Orleans.

I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna to kick a little ass, I'm gonna to kick some ass in the U.S.A., gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I'm gonna kick some butt, I'm gonna drive a big truck, I'm gonna rule this world, I'm gonna kick some ass, I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a little ass. ROCK, FLAG, and EAGLE!

Dee: I am not a failure!
Mac: Dennis, what is it that you call it when somebody tries to do something but doesn't succeed?
Dennis: Uh, that would in fact be a failure.

Frank: Look, I didn't go to Vietnam just to have pansies like you take my freedom away from me.
Dee: You went to Vietnam in 1993 to open up a sweatshop!
Frank: ...and a lot of good men died in that sweatshop!

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 2 Episode 9 Quotes

Dee: I am not a failure!
Mac: Dennis, what is it that you call it when somebody tries to do something but doesn't succeed?
Dennis: Uh, that would in fact be a failure.

Frank: Look, I didn't go to Vietnam just to have pansies like you take my freedom away from me.
Dee: You went to Vietnam in 1993 to open up a sweatshop!
Frank: ...and a lot of good men died in that sweatshop!