It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 6 Episode 8: "The Gang Gets a New Member" Quotes
Charlie: I'm serious I will eat that eraser whole.
Principal: You don't need to eat the eraser to prove your point, you have the job.
Charlie: Are you serious?
Principal: I love your atittude.
Charlie: Sir, I'm not gonna let you down. I'm gonna start cleaning immediately. But, first, can I eat the eraser?
Principal: You're saying you want to eat the eraser?
Charlie: I'm asking you if it's edible cause it certainly smells of grapes.
Principal: I don't think it's edible.
Charlie: Can't I just test it?
Principal: I'd rather you didn't. I might need it later.
Charlie: Alright, you win this one. I'll pick up one of my own and I'll eat that one. That way everyone wins.
Principal: I'm a little confused, are you telling me this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?
Charlie: Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so i was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to his position.
Principal: And you're looking for a job as a substitute teacher?
Charlie: Substitute janitor.
Charlie: You want to toss some inspiration my way? Cause the guys think Schmitty is all that and I'm no good.
Dee: Okay, Charlie, how about this? You are really good at cleaning shit out of toilets, and taking trash and throwing it into dumpsters. So why don't you get a new job somewhere else doing those things and make friends there?
Charlie: Are you telling me to get a job here as the janitor and you and I can be best friends?
Dee: That is absolutely not what I'm saying.
Charlie: I'm gonna go talk to the principal and see if I can get that job and then we'll work on the friendship thing.
Dee: Where's that inspirational man?
Teacher: My enthusiasm in those days was fueled entirely by the alcohol.
Charlie: It's either him or me.
Dennis: Yeah. I was gonna say him too. You know, it's always been him. I don't know why I didn't see that before.
Charlie: I'm out of the gang!?
Mac and Dennis: Him.
Charlie: Hey, you're stilling living with your mom? that sounds kind of lame.
Schmitty: Well, it's the M.S. that's really lame. you know
Dennis: Oh, your mom has Multiple sclerosis..
Schmitty: Yeah she's doing alright. I moved in with her to take care of her. Really get to know her before she moves on.
Charlie: That story is kind of a downer.
Dee: So I shouldn't give up on my dream?
Teacher: You must give up on your dream, it's far too late for you.
Charlie: You pushed him out of a moving car and yelled, "You're out of the gang!"
Mac: Now, in hindsight, that does seem kind of rash.
Dennis: It was kind of a snap decision.