It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Quotes

if we could get in some pleasant banter and punctuate it with some witty jokes, we could be set.

Frank

I was a five star man before the internet and I’m a five star man now. I just gotta shed the dead weight. God damn it!

Dennis

Well it's a cock ring, for, uh, all my lovers.

Dee

Uh, well, don't talk about the system.

Dennis

He's engaging you physically.

Mac

Dennis: I could find you oddly sexy.
Date: Excuse me?
Dennis: That was supposed to be, uh, a compliment.

Kim, hon, I'm detecting a little vibe from you - so why don't you come sit here.

Dennis

I feel like he's the one who rescued me.

Dennis

We can make much money!

Charlie

I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I've kind of had trouble closing it with the waitress.

Charlie

Oh sorry, let me explain. We're doing a Wade Boggs type thing, and that makes me sort of the Bud Selig of the group.

Mac

I need an Advil, a roll of duct tape, a pack of peanuts, and four beers.

Frank

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Charlie: I'll totally pull a Good Will Hunting on those kids and that'll put them in their place.
Mac: How you gonna do that?
Charlie: Well, you've seen the movie right?
Mac: Yeah.
Charlie: So all I gotta do is, I'll ask them some big shot, like math or science, history-type college question aand that will totally stump them by knowing a lot more about the answer than they do.
Mac: In that movie, Matt Damon played a genius janitor, you're just a janitor.
Charlie: Right, you stumped me with that one.

Mac: He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie: I don't have any on me, but I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie: Well that's mayonnaise. It's a decoy.
Frank: And the mayo?
Charlie: That's shampoo.
Frank: You're telling I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie: If you've been using the mayonnaise, then yeah, probably.

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