This kind of stuff is illegal in most states. In certain parts of Europe it's ... this is bad behavior.

Tony

McGee: What are you doing? I'm not the sidekick.
Tony: I'm the boss when Gibbs isn't here.
Gibbs: Gibbs is here.

McGee: Face it, you think you're too good looking to be the sidekick.
Tony: According to women, I'm too good looking.
Ziva: Actually I find McGee the more handsome.

Gibbs: Is that it?
Yeah. What else is there?
Gibbs: Well, maybe we send a couple of agents.
Tony: A couple of agents?
Gibbs: You know, put some eyes on the target. Change the circumstances.
Tony: And you can sell that to Vance?
Gibbs: Oh yeah.

[after killing Salim] Let's go home.

Gibbs

Ziva: You got captured ... on purpose?
Tony: Yeah.
Ziva: These people are killers, Tony.
Tony: That's why we have to stay alive long enough to not get dead.
Ziva: That would involve getting rescued.
Tony: Yes it would.

McGee: [on Ziva's ship] There's no record of it.
Tony: Why not?
Gibbs: It was lost at sea. Damacles went down on the 28th of May off the coast of Somalia. There were no survivors.

Tony: So, how was your summer?
Ziva: Out of everyone in the world who could have found me, it had to be you.
Tony: You're welcome.

Abby: It's weird Ziva hasn't contacted me. I mean it would be one thing if she simply hadn't picked up the phone and called me, but I've tried to contact her several different ways.
McGee: Psychics, crystals or telepathy?

Rebecca: So why is Detective McGree conducting the interrogation?
Tony: We prefer the term interview. Less of a negative connotation.
Rebecca: Got it.

Tony: It's all about chemistry. The zing, the pahh!
McGee: What do you mean, 'pahh'?
Tony: You know ... pahh.

If I could drag her back I would, in a heartbeat. But it's no use. Ziva David is dead.

Tony

NCIS Season 7 Quotes

Salim: So what are you doing here?
Tony: There's only one force on Earth that can short circuit a man's better instincts, put fire in his veins and make him dive head-long into danger without regard for his well being. Vengeance. I'm here to kill you.

Salim: DiNozzo. It's an Italian name.
Tony: An educated man.
Salim: I got my B.S. from Yale University.
Tony: [scoffs] I got my B.S. in the streets ... You guys got a lousy football team.