Hey, Torres, look! I finally found a T-shirt small enough for you!

McGee [holding up a baby shirt]

Wait, you’re friends with your arch-enemy from high school?

McGee [to Bishop]

Oh, you have a *plan*, Gibbs, don’t you? I see it all over you!

Sloane

I’ve held lots of arms. Yours are more than decent.

Annie [to Torres]

Bishop: I thought you said you were gonna--
Gibbs: Lie to Abby? [chuckles]
Bishop: Ha, no! But by ‘no’ I mean ‘yeah.’

Jimmy: What’d I miss?
Torres: Just McGee’s sad childhood.

Gibbs [translating]: She wants to know why his [Torres] shirt’s so tight.
Bishop: Don’t we all!

Ducky: He’s *dead*, Doctor Palmer.
Jimmy: Yeah, I noticed that when I removed his spleen and he didn’t complain!

Bishop: You know The Rules?!
Torres: I thought it was mandatory.

Burger coma.

Gibbs [describing the sleeping Elena]

Gibbs: That was some nice shooting, Leon!
Vance: It was our house. Had to defend it.
Gibbs: Is that my weapon?
Vance: [shrugs]

‘Fall back’?! We need to get in there, with Sherman tanks!

Reeves

NCIS Quotes

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

McGee