Night Court
Tuesdays 8:00 PM on NBCNight Court Season 1 Episode 2: "The Nighthawks" Quotes
This is Rosa Rosenberg. She was arrested for carrying a concealed weapon, but it is a completely nonfunctional emotional support gun. Reminds her of her father. His name was Colt. He died at forty-five.
Dan
Were you attacked by a salamander when you were a kid? Did your dad leave your mom for a gecko? Paint me the science fiction country song that is your life.
Dan
I’m not that kind of lawyer. I deal with evidence and precedent, not feelings, emotions, and ‘mommy didn’t hug me enough, so now I eat people.’
Dan
Abby: By any chance are you dyslexic?
Mr. Buckwold: I am, your Honor, but it’s my understanding that’s only a crime in Texas.
Abby: I like the sweater. It really makes a statement. Like, ‘I told the judge I was going to do something but then did as close to nothing as possible.’
Dan: This is not nothing. This is me showing that your idea of how I should defend these clients if not better than how I do it because basically they’re all guilty anyway.
Olivia: This opportunity is wasted on you.
Neil: It’s not an opportunity, Olivia, it’s a curse. I come here so I can do nothing, and if you do nothing, you can’t fail.
Oh, I’m not putting energy into making this place better. I’m trying to get out of here. This isn’t a job. It’s an escape room.
Olivia
Neil: Work is over. Why does she want us to stick around?
Gurgs: Well, maybe she got us a present. Maybe we can wear it. Oooh, or eat it. Maybe we can wear it then eat it. Chocolate jackets!
Random bald guy: Carmine, what are you doing here?
Carmine: I got caught robbing this lady’s store.
Dan: He’s joking. The only thing my client is guilty of is possession of a razor-sharp wit.
