Great. Seance, anyone?

Nolan

Uh, a shower wouldn't kill you.

Emily [to Jack]

You've been a pawn in our decrepit marriage far too long.

Conrad

You wish I'd never been born. Do me a favor and pretend I wasn't.

Charlotte

She suddenly gets a conscience and Jack's supposed to hop too.

Stevie

I just became an uncle! Well, one of those non-uncle uncles, like Kracker or Fester.

Nolan

There might be a place for kindness and fairness but this is definitely not one of them.

Emily

One big happy family.

Conrad

Ems, you got him.

Nolan

[to Emily] Your husband's...kind of a hole.

Nolan

[to Nolan] You've been an unexpected friend.

Aiden

Mommyzilla.

Charlotte

Revenge Quotes

Only luddites use snail mail.

Nolan

Emily: I'm not leaving you alone, Nolan.
Nolan: I love you, too.