Divya: You totally won me over, Dr. Jeremiah Sacani.
Dr. Sacani: Not totally......

Note to self, become a doctor.

Evan

(to Jill) I miss you too.

Hank

She's crazier than Glenn Close on Easter.

Evan

He is so gonna rip the cape off her batman.

Evan [of Hank and Divya]

I guess you find strength and independence in the last place you want to look.

Divya

Divya: That is exactly what a teenage girl sounds like. Maybe you should be watching Twilight.
Evan: Seen it. Team Edward.

(to Divya) Think about Raj, what would Raj say if he lost you? Or does he have other wives?

Evan

I'm not afraid of intimacy - I just don't like it.

Emily

Do you ever use an accent when you're speaking?

Evan

She wont be working with me - she'll be working under me.

Hank

New money settles problems with lawyers. Old money settles problems with cocktails.

Paige