If your head needs to roll, I will be the one to drop the blade.

Boris

This situation is dire enough as it is, wouldn't you agree? Concealing it or even the appearance of concealing it can only aggravate it and me further. Am I clear?

Boris

Me and my underdog sperm will by right here when you get back, screening the movie Rudy for inspiration.

Evan

Even my dad, the reformed hustler and flake has beaten me to the altar.

Hank

Life just keeps throwing us curve balls, doesn’t it? Curve balls filled with anxiety.

Hank

This hospital is non-partisan, Paige. We kiss all VIP asses equally.

Evan

Paige: I know you won't be saying things like that if I ever get pregnant.
Evan: When you get pregnant.

Divya: I'm not worried about finding something fancy. I am worried about finding something I can fit in to.
Evan: I actually have an old camping tent you can borrow if you like.

I think he's trying to talk you into letting him in.

Paige

That's what family is---people you depend on when you run out of options.

Evan

Nothing feels worse than disappointing family. Trust me, I have been doing it to Hank for years.

Evan

We should probably be more concerned about Emma right now.

Evan

Royal Pains Quotes

Yeah, dude. Don't punk the crackberry. She'll light your ass up like a Christmas tree.

Tucker

Note to self, become a doctor.

Evan