The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Season 9 Quotes
I'm telling ya, I'm not on drugs. The government is out to get me!
Howard
Alfred: I have prayed to God many times... to turn my wife into a pillar of salt.
Mary: Well he came close. He turned her into a block of ice.
You can't ignore it. It's not that postcard that says it's time to go back to the dentist.
Raj
Mother, she's an atheist, not a vampire.
Sheldon
Penny: And when I dropped her off at the hotel, she even gave me a hug.
Leonard: Did she think you were choking, or...?
I'm still human, Penny. Not getting invited to my own son's wedding is difficult to ignore.
Beverly
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but sticks on chairs are comfy.
Raj
You know the golden rule of line etiquette. No cuts, no butts, no coconuts.
Sheldon
Atom of Hydrogen, Adam of Maroon 5. Mic drop.
Leonard
That offer is only good until the third trimester. I can't risk getting amniotic fluid on my spot.
Sheldon
Sheldon. Oh come on. Roller coasters, caffeine, runny eggs. I've been avoiding these things all my life, and now because you're pregnant, you have to.
Wine again? No, thank you. I like my grapes the old fashioned way. In a juice box.
Sheldon
