The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Quotes
Does it get any funnier than The Big Bang Theory quotes? There's a reason why this is the highest rated sitcom on television. And that has a lot to do with these Big Bang Theory quotes.
I apologize if I haven't been the friend you deserve. But I want you to know, in my way, I love you all.
Sheldon
I was under a misapprehension that my accomplishments were mine alone. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have been encouraged, sustained, inspired, and tolerated. Not only by my wife, but by the greatest group of friends anyone ever had.
Sheldon
Penny: It's so strange. No matter how thoughtless and selfish he is, I still love him.
Leonard: If you think about it, he has kind of been our practice kid.
Penny: Like, when you make pancakes and the first one comes out a little wonky?
Sheldon: I hate to say it but I think everyone is being incredibly selfish.
Amy: Well, you would be the authority on the subject.
Sheldon: UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!
Penny: What?
Leonard: He thinks you're sick.
Penny: Oh. Should we tell him?
Leonard: If we don't, he might try to jump out of the plane.
Penny: Doesn't answer my question.
Amy: She's probably just air-sick.
Sheldon: But what if she's not. What if we get what she has? What if we infect the King of Sweden? That's how wars start.
Penny: I don't like to drink when I fly.
Bernadette: Please, I've seen you drink in the shower.
Howard: You guys have showered together?
Amy: This is about humbly accepting a great honor.
Sheldon: Amy, we won the Nobel Prize in Physics. Humility is for people who win the goofy Nobels like Literature, Economics, and Peace.
Amy: Please tell me that's not in your speech.
Sheldon: I can cut it but it's the only joke I have.
Amy: Sheldon, why are you talking so fast?
Sheldon: I'm trying to get my speech down to ninety minutes.
Amy: Nobody's going to be able to understand a word you're saying.
Sheldon: Welcome to my life.
Raj: Please if you have any problems, any questions, call me immediately, okay? She's my baby.
Bert: It shouldn't come up but just in case... Where could I buy a dog that looks exactly like her? Kidding. If she dies, I'll just tell you.
Bernadette: You realize it's been years since we've gone away, just the two of us?
Howard: I know. I can't wait. Fancy hotel room. The big bed.
Bernadette: Yeah, we're going to sleep our asses off.
Amy: Do you want to go back to the apartment and see me try on my dress?
Sheldon: Shouldn't I see it for the first time at the Nobel ceremony?
Amy: It's not a wedding.
Sheldon: Okay. Well, give me a minute to think of another reason I don't want to see it.
