The Magicians
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on SyFyThe Magicians Season 3 Quotes
Quentin: Okay, then what it is? Are you with us? Do you want magic back?
Alice: Of course I want magic.
Quentin: Okay, then what changed? Why now?
Alice: As opposed to when, huh? When you asked me if I wanted to go on a quest five minutes after my dad died? Would you be ready to go on a fucking adventure?
Quentin: Alice, I'm just--
Alice: And you know, are you the only one who's allowed to be ambivalent and depressive and scared and hate themselves? When I just have to be sure of everything? Agh. Fuck you, Quentin.
Edwin: Fasten it around the neck to activate it, then it will instantly kill a fairy if they use magic. Should deter them from even trying. Of course, you have to actually catch a fairy first.
Julia: Oh, I'm sure I'll figure something out. So... how does it work? I mean, what's it powered by considering--
Edwin: That would be a family secret.
Julia: Okay. Once it's own, how will I know it's secure? Has a fairy ever broken out of one?
Edwin: Dust! This is Dust. I've had him since I was 16, but he's been in the family much longer. How long?
Dust: Over 400 years, sir.
Edwin: He may not look it, but he's our oldest fairy. Tell Irene her guest has a collar.
Dust: Yes, sir.
Edwin: There's really only one way to take them off. I have a machine that does it, so don't worry. They're secure.
Julia: Great. Thank you so much for all your help.
Howard: So uh, Penny. My book club is looking for new members, interesting people. And I thought of you.
Penny: Why? Because I'm brown? And shackled? You know this looks bad for The Library, right?
Howard: Woah. No. We're not--we shackle people of all races and colors here.
Penny: Not better, Howard.
Julia: I'm sure this is important, but I almost killed somebody and somehow froze her in time. And I'm not sure what to do next so just give me a sec.
Margo: Well, we're chained to a boat about to go over a waterfall.
Eliot: Yeah, complete with lacerating rocks. So.
Quentin: Oh shit. The infinite waterfalls.
Eliot: Not helping. Wait! You guys have magic. Can you stop this boat?
Alice: No, it's not that kind of magic.
Margo: Great. Well, enjoy our death screams, I guess.
Margo: What the fucking hell.
Tick: You've been found guilty.
Eliot: By a marsupial in a wig and a rob.
Tick: The judge you requested for trial -- the wombat.
Margo: Wombat? Jesus, Tick I said combat. We wanted trial by combat.
Tick: That is not as you'd say a "thing" in Fillory.
Julia: I did a whole line of that fairy coke shit. We've got to help.
Fen: We can't. I agree that what is being done to the fairies is awful, but they are evil and I told you what they did to me, my daughter. And Julia, they can't be enslaved. They can do magic.
Julia: Yeah, but that was in Fillory. It's obviously different here. Maybe... maybe they're different.
Alice: I know what it is. Music.
Quentin: Music?
Alice: Medieval music.
Quentin: Sure you're playing it right?
Alice: Yes.
Kady: Then you're an idiot. Back then the scale didn't start at C. So that's an A. What?
Quentin: I just didn't know you had so much --
Kady: Well, me and music go way back.
Eliot: Yes, I do want to make a final statement. I hate Fillory. It's a backwards, malodorous shit hole full of animals who are smarter than they're supposed to be and humans who are so much dumber. And what you would call indoor plumbing we on earth would call a war crime. But, when I was drowning, Fillory saved me. And now it's my turn to save Fillory. But I can't do that if my head's in a basket, so if it pleases... you guys, I demand that this trial slash peasant uprising be dismissed. Your honorable wombatness.
Penny: What the shit is this? Why is he talking to a marsupial? This is not at all relevant!
Quentin: Alice, what the hell.
Poppy: Come on, we got to go.
Alice: What are you doing here?
Quentin: What am I doing here? How do you just keep appearing? What were you--Alice, are you working with The Library?
Alice: Q, you have to go.
Quentin: Okay, great, then let's go. Alice, come on.
Alice: Q, please.
Penny: Look, I get it. You didn't want me to bail on you so you lied. And then I bailed on you anyway. Be mad, but don't be stupid.
Benedict. I buried it. I'm sorry. I spent so much of my life alone, the thought of spending the rest of time--I thought you were my friend. And I thought if you couldn't find the key, eventually you'd... I don't know--
Penny: You thought I'd hang out in your dumb tent?
Benedict: I thought we'd spruce it up together.
Penny: Look, don't ask me how I know this, but you are the only person who cried when I died. We are friends. And I appreciate you, so listen. Once you show me where the key is, Silvia is going to take you to The Library map room. You are going to be very popular.
Alice: If you're his supervisor I want to file a complant.
Zelda: Roughish belligerencey is a common trait among travelers.
Alice: How can he take people with him when he travels. ... You really do have a battery.
Zelda: Is that why you're here?
Alice: No, I don't care about the battery--well, of course I do. All I want is a Library card.
Zelda: We are no longer accepting new applications.
Penny: I don’t know. Wave it around or something. Maybe I keyhole will appear in the wall.
Kady: This is stupid. I feel sick. Why are you here anyway? We already stuck a fork in this, Penny.
Penny: We’re helping you.
Kady: All of a sudden? After I was such a ray of sunshine to you last time?
Penny: We need you to talk to Harriet. We need her help getting the next key so we can bring magic back.
Kady: Oh, alright. And where’s the next key?
Penny: In the Underworld. I’m the only one who can get it, Kady.
Kady: You’re doing it again aren’t you? Throwing your life at a problem to solve it. I’m tired, Penny. What couple deals with this kind of shit on a regular basis?
Penny: I thought we weren’t a couple?
