The Magicians Quotes
Eliot: Quentin! I found you.
Quentin: Oh, no, sorry. I'm Brian.
Eliot: Do a card trick for me, Quentin. Come on. Will you play with me?
Quentin: So when Prometheus was looking to hide his back door --
Calypso: I had already designed the perfect place. A place full of monsters. A place where no one wants to look. He promised he would make his quest difficult, so no quester could get anywhere near my prison who couldn't ensure it remained secure. He channeled every atom of power into the keys.
Margo: So he like horcruxed himself.
Josh: Jesus, someone got hit hard by the martyr bug.
Calypso: All I can say is he believed in you. He said he saw a time to come when you would save us if you had magic.
Josh: Great! So do we book tickets?
Quentin: It's not a real place. Hold on. So, Ogygi -- Ogygia or however you say it is an island in the fictional tale, The Odyssey. It's a clothing label, Eurovision band, a tech company, and a game --
Josh: Oh my god, I know them. I worship them. They're the Candy Collider people. I nearly spent $600 on level 593. It took me 12 straight days.
Quentin: There are prisons and then there are prisons.
Josh: Right? We're all just 24/7, like my post! Beep-boop. Selfie! Right? No one?
Margo: I love that bear.
Fray: So do I.
Eliot: Yeah, horray for bears, but we were kind of having a moment.
Margo: No, honey, she loves him.
Eliot: So, uh, not bear boss? Bear... boyfriend? Is that a thing in Fillory?
Margo: Apparently very taboo, but like I told Humbledrum, as long as it's consensual, if I got my way, I'd say go hog-wild or bear-wild or bull-wild. He's very concerned about getting your approval. I don't think he quite gets that you're not even Fray's real dad.
Eliot: Well, then. I will say what I wish my father had said to me. I'm so happy you're dating a bear.
Fen: I was gone a lot longer than I thought I would be.
Eliot: Listen, Fen. Before you were born you were promised to a stranger -- a king -- and I'm not one anymore. You don't have to stay for my sake.
Fen: I'm guessing you've never thought about where I would be if you never showed up. I have. Still in that same village where I was born, married to one of the three obnoxious boys I lived next to. Now those boys want to drop you off a waterfall, and that's them being polite. What do you think they'd do if they got their hands on me?
Eliot: That got less touching as you went.
Fen: I can't go back to my old life. I'm stuck with you, and that means you're stuck with me.
Zelda: I have heard of the Castle at the End of the World. It was built by the gods but its contents are secret by design. All we mortals know is that we are not meant to know.
Alice: Why wouldn't they want you to know what's inside?
Zelda: Perhaps it is indeed the lair of a horrifying monster. Or, perhaps they simply enjoy tormenting those of us that dedicate our lives to cataloging information.
Alice: Well, whatever their motive, we'd be idiots to go in totally blind.
Zelda: Then ask someone who's been inside. A god. I believe your friends have had encounters with them.
Josh: Previously... on "Us."
Josh: Just imagine, an montage. A group of fine looking grad students were invited to a secret school for magic, where a bunch of stuff happened that doesn't really matter until they ran into a mysterious figure. An answer to a riddle they didn't even know to ask.
Penny: It's you.
Josh: Do you want this recap or not?
Quentin: I heard it could be used to bring back magic and I couldn’t have that so I got it first.
Julia: I know why you were looking for me and the key. It showed you visions of the future. Me killing you.
Julia: I’m here to tell you I’m not--I’m not going to kill you. I want to help you.
Quentin: The visions weren’t of you killing me. I saw you opening a lock at the end of the world. You were trying to let magic in but you let in something much worse.
Fogg: Slavery, mass murder--and yet, it smells so floral in here.
Julia: It’s a cleaning charm.
Fogg: Next time try less rosewater. Any idea about how to deal with Irene, who will doubtlessly want her property back.
Julia: Well, she’ll have to find it first.
Fogg: Did you poke out her eyes?
Julia: No. I replaced all the wards and shields around Brakebills.
Fogg: You did what? By yourself? That’s impossible.
Julia: Apparently that’s what I can do now.
Josh: Holy mirror universes, Batman. It’s me. Like. You’re me.
Alternate Josh: Okay, calm your shit. I’m from a different timeline, you’re in a teslaflection. We only have--
Julia: Two minutes. We know the rules.
Alternate Josh: Right. Of course. You pulled Alice in one of these before.
Julia: And you’re from that same timeline?
Alternate Josh: Right. Look, we need your help. There’s this monster here killing magicians. We call him The Beast.
Josh: Twelve fingers. Cloud of moths around his face?
Alternate Josh: Yeah. I tried to get people to call him Mothra but it didn’t stick.
Marina: I think someone is following us.
Julia: On my signal, get out of the way. [Pause] Now!
Marina: That’s your signal?!
Penny: Julia. So it is you. You’re… real. You’re alive.
Penny: Julia, it’s me.
Julia: Yeah, I know.
Penny: It’s like I’m living in a dream.
Marina: Let me short circuit this. If you think following two strangers and then kissing one of them is dream behavior--
Penny: She’s not a stranger. She’s my soulmate.
The Fairy Queen: I've heard enough.
Fen: Wait. You're not listening.
The Fairy Queen: I'd rather remove your tongue. Maybe your teeth. You choose.
Fen: Go ahead. You have already taken so much from me. What's a few teeth?
The Fairy Queen: You've got two sentences. Choose wisely.
Fen: I hate fairies. So why would I come here to a place where you stole my toes and I lost my child if it wasn't true?
The Fairy Queen: And why would you do this for me?
Fen: It's not for you. It's for them.
The Fairy Queen: They're still fairies.
Fen: But they're nothing like you. They're more like traumatized children. And as a mother, despite what you did to me, they deserve a chance to live. So get off you're--whatever it is fairies have for rear butts and do something.