Fen, don't accuse me of catching feelings, alright. It's insulting.

Margo

Well this is some serious Mr. Miyagi bullshit.

Margo

There's a man in the TV that deserves my wrath!

Eliot

Fen, Josh is a guy I bang, and when a woman of a certain caliber and a certain skillset bangs a guy like Josh, or basically anyone who isn't a complete sociopath, they get a little weird. It will pass.

Margo

Egg beats oven mitts, bitch! Now you're my sister wife!

Penny

Don't kink shame!

Kady

Noticed you got magic back. Amazing! They didn't have an appropriate thank you card at Target.

Poppy

I'm Harold, the Herald of the East River Dragon. I responded to a very confusingly worded help wanted ad.

Harold

Jesus, Fen! Why are you lurking in a dark pantry?

Josh

Derek: Okay, I think I'm starting to get the point of these stories: all women are just one emotional crisis away from a psychotic break.

They're trying to find someone, and we're just collateral damage. So ask yourselves if this is what they do when they're not even thinking about us, what happens when they decide we're a threat? Are we just going to let people like them tell us we're not important? That we're just some side characters in their f*cked up fascist plot? My mom was a hedge, and she was killed by another hedge. You think that would turn me against you, but it didn't. It just made me realize that it doesn't have to be this way. If we can stop screwing each other over long enough to work together, then it's not The Library's story! It's our story.

Kady

I admit, I took a personal interest in Alice's rehabilitation. Perhaps it biased me. You are correct, we are not jailers. We are also not killers. So, I'll ask you again what would you have us do?

Zelda

The Magicians Quotes

I'm Harold, the Herald of the East River Dragon. I responded to a very confusingly worded help wanted ad.

Harold

Eliot (The Monster): This body hearts tequila. When I'm happy. When I'm sad. When I'm bored. Because everything is taking too long - meaning you. Relevant story: I was in the road, and I almost hit by a whatdoyacallit -- big fat truck? But I wouldn't have felt anything at all because tequila is my friend.