Patrick: Let's keep it casual to start with Sophie. Let her relax. If she gets her guard up, we'll get nothing from her.
Teresa: You're very combative all of a sudden.
Patrick: Yeah, if she is guilty, she lied to me and I believed it. She fooled me.
Teresa: The ultimate sin.
Patrick: Yes it is.

Teresa: We have agents at your house right now with a search warrant.
Chancellor Stern: Inadmissible.
Teresa: Yes. I'd hate to be a State's Attorney. Jane's always pulling crap like this on them but they always win.

Teresa: Aw. Jane kissed a girl.
Patrick: What? Yeah on the cheek.
Teresa: Still counts.

Patrick: You don't like the way I drive, you despise it.
Teresa: You drive way too fast.
Patrick: I drive just fast enough. You hate not being the one in control and yet you're willing to overcome your irrational fears to cheer me up. That's a beautiful thing, Lisbon. Thank you, I'd love to drive.
Teresa: Never mind.

Ben Machado: I didn't know you guys were cops.
Kimball Cho: You thought we were selling magazine subscriptions?

Trey: Ben's our go-to guy in Marquesa.
Ben: He just means I'm the only real estate agent around here who takes his commission in fertilizer and chickens.

Kimball: Hey, do you wanna go to work or do you wanna play nurse with King Tut?
Grace: Work. Definitely work.

Ben: Someone's framing me.
Kimball: Somebody framed you for shooting at us, Mr. Machado? Because from where I stood, sure looked like it.
Ben: That was a misunderstanding. I didn't know who you guys were. I was defending myself.
Kimball: Really? From whom?
Ben: From someone trying to kill me. Just like they killed Rich and tried to kill Trey.
Kimball: And why would you be next on someone's "To Burn"-list?

Patrick Jane: I've a daughter that would be about your age if I hadn't caused her death... her and her mother.
Frankie O'Keefe: How?
Patrick Jane: Out of arrogance... stupidity. I made an evil man very angry and he killed them to teach me a lesson. To make me sorry for what I've done... and I am sorry. Being sorry is far worse punishment than being dead, everybody dies... very few people ever feel truly sorry for the bad things they've done.

See, the thing is, Flip, Lisbon here is looking at you like you're a pork chop, because you fit the profile. Your life is in chaos, you're lonely, you're depressed, you're addicted to drugs and pornography and a little nuts, to be honest. You're exactly the kind of man that does terrible things to women. But I don't think you did this.

Patrick Jane

Dane Kurtik: I never touched Christine Tanner.
Patrick Jane: Liar.
Dane Kurtik: Believe me, when I tell you that you just now made the worst mistake of your miserable little life.
Patrick Jane: Believe me, no matter how this turns out, I've made worse mistakes.

Virgil Minelli: You couldn't just give Kurtik a stern talking to instead?
Teresa Lisbon: What about Christine Tanner, sir? If Kurtik was having sex with her, that gives him motive to kill.
Virgil Minelli: If! And that's a hunch. Based on rockabilly.
Teresa Lisbon: It's a Jane hunch, you keep him around for a reason.

The Mentalist Season 1 Quotes

Grace Van Pelt: Mr. Jane, I have a question regarding your previous career path.
Patrick Jane: Fire away.
Grace Van Pelt: When you met with other psychics, real psychics, could they tell you were just pretending?
Patrick Jane: There's no such thing as real psychics.

Greetings old friend, it's been a while. I hope you are keeping well. I am thriving and happy. I have 12 wives now and will soon begin courting number 13. Why can't you catch me? You must feel so powerless and stupid and sad. Oh well. All the best. Red John.

Grace Van Pelt