The Office Season 5 Episode 21: "Two Weeks" Quotes
Oscar: Most new businesses, they don't make a profit 'til at least two years. And then your margins will be razor thin. Best case scenario, you don't cut yourself a salary for at least 5 years. Can you go 5 years without a salary, Michael?
Michael: Okay.
Oscar: Five years?
Michael: Okay, hey, you already have the job. You don't have to convince me.
Oscar: It's just not prudent Michael.
Oscar: You put a note in my food?
Michael: I made it sterile.
Oscar: Just to say "sterile" doesn't make it so.
Michael: I am offering you the opportunity of a lifetime, Oscar. To come work for me.
Oscar: Do you have a business plan? A funding request? Market research, financials?
Michael: No, no no.
Oscar: You need those things.
I'm at a crucial point where I have sunk 4 hours into that copier, and I am not going to let it beat me like that wireless router did.
Pam
Michael: I'm starting my own paper company.
Andy: No way!?
Michael: Yeah.
Andy: In this climate?
Michael: Yeah. In all climates. It's going to be worldwide. And I'm looking for some talented salesmen to join me. That's where you come in.
Andy: Ehh... well it's a very intriguing concept, isn't it? Um... hmmm... Michael is starting his own paper company. What do you think about that?
Dwight: Your own paper company.
Michael: Can you believe it? Well, we'll see, we'll see. It's just a, just a nugget of an idea right now so
Dwight: Right...
Michael: Potential, lots of potential. yes.
Dwight: What a courageous venture.
Michael: It's... it's very courageous, very exciting. Um...
Dwight: Location is hard for me, with the farm and the responsibilities...
Michael: That's what I was thinking, with the farm, so... You getting to wherever I'm gonna put my thing.
Dwight: Okay. So yeah.
Michael: So think about it. Lets put a pin in it for now.
Dwight: You know, I would love to put a pin in that.
Kelly: So that is why I have to leave at 5:00 on Tuesday, it's to pick up my little sisters from school. We're really tight. We're like the Kardashians.
Charles: You know, you can run this stuff by Toby.
Michael: Before you got here, I'm the one who landed all these clients. Half of them, at least. I can do it again. I know the market, I know the price points. I'm on it, don't worry. So, how do I do that?
Pam: Well, um, you can scan it, and then you can upload the image, and then you can copy the new image.
Michael: Can't I take some paper and just tape over it with transparent tape?
Pam: Yeah. Good.
Michael: Thank you very much.
Pam: Mmm.
Michael: Pam, listen. This order form. Instead of saying "Dunder Mifflin" at the top is there any way I could get it to say something else?
Pam: Like Michael Scott Paper Company?
Michael: You... oh. Somebody has been talking in bed. Pillow talk.
Pam: Hmm... yeah. Listen Michael. Have you really thought this through? 'Cause it's a pretty big risk.
Michael: This is a dream that I have had since lunch, and I am not giving up on it now.
My German is pre-industrial and mostly religious.
Dwight
Charles: Jim.
Jim: Hey.
Charles: What are you doing?
Jim: Nothing, just talking.
Charles: Okay, Michael handed in his 2-week notice, did you also hand in your 2-week?
Jim: I didn't... no.
Charles: Okay. After you.
Michael: No I'm staying.
Charles: Okay.
Michael: Alright, Michael Scott Paper Company. You want in? Do you want to be a part of this?
Jim: I am not gonna do this.
Michael: Obviously.
Jim: And you are not going to, either.
Michael: Oh, agreed, mmm, except...
Jim: Here's the thing. What I wish for you is that you land a job at a company that A, exists, and B, has a salary. Because they're set up to do that kind of thing.
Michael: Okay, oh okay, okay. Close your eyes.
Jim: I would prefer not to.
Michael: Just close your eyes. I'm going to start my own paper company.
Jim: You're starting your own paper company?
Michael: yeah!
Jim: Why?
Michael: Can you believe... cause I know paper. I know everything there is to know about paper.
Jim: Do you know the industry is in decline?
Michael: Yeah! Oh God. I practically invented decline.
Michael: You work in paper long enough, you get to know the players. [dials phone]
Phone: Hi, you've reached Prince Paper. We are sad to inform you that after 40 years of serving the community we are no longer in business. Thank you for your support. May God bless you. Bye!
