Jan: Surely you aren't serious about this, Michael.
Michael: Of course I'm serious. And don't call me Shirley.

Pam: Sometimes the gift is really about the gesture, you know, like, what it means, instead of what it is.
Dwight: You mean ... like a ham?
Pam: No. Not like a ham.

Jan: Dress for the job you want, not the job you have
[interview]
Angela: Judging from her attire, Jan aspires to be a whore.

You gotta take a chance on something sometime, Pam.

Jim

Rich people like pizza, poor people like pizza. White people like pizza, black people like pizza.... do black people like pizza?

Michael

Michael: Now you may look around and see two groups here: white-collar and blue-collar. But I don't see it that way, and you know why not? Because I am collar blind.

Everyone, guys. Circle up, please. Come on over. Bring your chairs. Toby, come on over. You're a guy... too. Sort of.

Michael

Roy: I'm glad she has a friend at work that she can get through the day with. That way she's not all, "blah blah blah" when she gets home.
Jim: Yeah, I like talking to her too.

Kevin: I bet Roy heard about you liking Pam. I bet he'll try to beat you up.
Jim: Thanks for the heads up, Kev.
Kevin: I got your back if he does. [pauses] But try to stay out of it.

Michael: Let's start with the warehouse. What bothers you as guys? You know?
Darryl: My priority is safety.
Michael: Ok.
Darryl: So it really bothers me when somebody comes in here speeding around on a lift, playing with it like a toy. It kind of gets under my skin, ok?
Michael: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Michael: This is Darryl, one of our warehouse staff. Darryl, what is your biggest fear?
Darryl: My biggest fear is that someone will distract us from getting all the shipments out on time.

These guys are down there. They are real men doing real man's work. We are going to learn how a warehouse works. Oh, I think this is gonna work out great because managing the warehouse is a very important part of my job, and I haven't been there in months.

Michael

The Office Season 2 Quotes

TMI? — "Too Much Information." Uh, it's just easier to say TMI. I used to say "don't go there," but that's lame. Hey, what ever happened to 'wheres the beef?'? That was funny for a while...

Michael

A lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meredith or Kevin, I mean who's going to give Kevin an award, Dunkin' Donuts? Plus, bonus, it's really really funny. So I, you know, an employee will go home, and he'll tell his neighbor, "Hey, did you get an award?" And the neighbor will say, "No man. I mean I slave all day and nobody notices me." Next thing you know, employee smells something terrible coming from the neighbor's house. Neighbor's hanged himself, due to lack of recognition.

Michael