LaMarr: Dora the Explorer got some balls.
Malloy: Good ones. Good balls.

Newton: Kid, you gotta be joking. You re-route power and this ship's not going to be going anywhere.
Kitan: Chief, unless we know where the Captain and the Commander were taken, there will be no where to go. Oh, and it's SIR not KID. Just a friendly reminder.

  • Permalink: Not Kid
  • Added:

Kitan: Will you help me?
Finn: I'm not going to whisper the right answers in your ear but I'll try to be your Obi-Wan however I can.
Kitan: My what?

  • Permalink: Obi-Wan
  • Added:

Command is all about the balance between inspiring confidence in your leadership and knowing when to trust your people.


You think they'd give me three weeks off to sit on an egg?


We got Dora the Explorer running the show here.


Malloy: I can bring [the shuttle] over by remote guidance on your order
Kitan: Got it.
Malloy: Is... Is the order given?
Kitan: Yes. Absolutely. Do that.
Malloy: Aye, sir.
Kitan: And... good job! With that remote thing.
Malloy: Thanks.

Honestly, Kell, most guys would hold a grudge for something like this. I think you did us a favor. I really do. In fact, you know what? I want to thank you for your infidelity.


Grayson: You can tell me, y'know. We never talked about it. What did she say about me?
Mercer: It's nothing too terrible.
Grayson: You can tell me.
Mercer: It wasn't that bad.
Grayson: Just be honest.
Mercer: She once called you a bitch forty-six times in one sitting.
Grayson: Wow.
Mercer: Yeah, the people at the next table complained.

Sorry about my parents, everyone... My colon is fine, by the way.


Mercer: Guys, you remember Gordon?
Malloy: Hi, Mr. and Mrs. M!
Mr. Mercer: Is that Gordon?
Malloy: It's me. Yeah.
Mr. Mercer: Oh! Well, ok, tell him I said hi.
Mercer: He just heard you, Dad.
Malloy: Hi!
Mr. Mercer: Who's that?
Mercer: That's Gordon again.

Mercer: Moclans reproduce by laying eggs which I never knew.
LaMarr: Well, where does it come out of? The butt?
Mercer: Y'know, John, I didn't really pry into those kinds of specifics
LaMarr: How's that not the first thing you ask?

The Orville Season 1 Episode 2 Quotes

Bortus: Moclans reproduce by laying eggs. Klyden and I are going to have a child.
Mercer: Bortus! That's great! Congrats! My god, you lay eggs?
Bortus: Yes, sir
Mercer: I always wondered how a single-gender species populated itself but... are they big eggs?
Bortus: They are somewhat large, yes, sir.

Mercer: That is, uh, Kermit the Frog
Bortus: I do not recognize the species.
Mercer: It's an amphibious life form from Earth.
Bortus: Is it someone you know?
Mercer: No, no, he's just a leader I admire. Always keeps his cool in a crisis. Inspires greatness in his people.

  • Permalink: Kermit
  • Added: