Two and a Half Men Season 6 Quotes
Berta: Boy, take one day off for a poker tournament, you miss a whole lot around here.
Charlie: You said you were sick.
Berta: I was healed, it's a miracle!
Rose: This is a side of Alan Harper I've never seen before -- forceful, confident
Alan: Oh, thank you
Rose: I don't like it
Alan: We need to talk about boundaries
Rose: It was just my pinky, Alan
Alan: No, that was fun
Waiter: ..and for you sir?
Alan: Whiskey, neat
Charlie: Since when did you drink hard liquor?
Alan: Since right now. I'd order crack if it was on the menu
Waiter: True dat
Chelsea [about Rose]: Fun personality right?
Alan: Unfortunately she six more of them
Alan [getting ready for double date]: How do I look?
Charlie: Don't open that can of worms, you are what you are
Charlie: Tell you what. I'll trade you, site unseen, my mom for yours
Chelsea: Charlie..
Charlie: I'll even throw in Alan and a couple of Omaha Steaks
Chelsea: What's wrong with me having a warm and a healthy relationship with your mother?
Charlie: For starters, you'll be the only one... ever!
Chelsea: Oh, don't be so dramatic
Charlie: I should be wearing tights and holding a skull... preferably hers
Chelsea: You didn't tell your mom we were engaged?
Charlie: If she didn't sell me the house, she wouldn't know where I lived
Jerome: So how do you know Charlie and Alan?
Herb: I married Alan's ex-wife
Jerome: No kidding.. and you two hang out?
Herb and Aln: yeah, sure
Jerome: Wow, I couldn't be friends with the man that's putting it to my ex
Herb: Well to be fair that hasn't been a lot of putting lately
Alan: ...and after the baby there'll be even less
Herb: How's that possible?
Alan: Not only will she not let you touch her, but she'll interrupt you when you're touching yourself
Alan: I'm gonna go pick up Jake at his mothers
Charlie: Oh good. Just what we need to brighten up our weekend. A large, sullen teenager with gas and questionable hygiene
Alan: There's nothing questionable about it
Alan [about Chelsea]: So you're just going to sit here and wait till she comes crawling over?
Charlie: Yes I am...and then since hell has long since frozen over, we can go ice skating
