UnREAL
Mondays 10:00 PM on LifetimeUnREAL Season 3 Episode 1: "Oath" Quotes
Serena: God, how could I do that?
Rachel: You're like everyone else on the planet. You are screwed up and lonely and trying to figure it out.
Serena: Maybe your friends are like that, but my friends are all married...The weird thing is I did everything right. I did everything just like them. My friends say that I'm too picky. That no guy is good enough. But the truth is, nobody picks me.
Rachel: Listen to me - you're incredible. You deserve to find somebody who loves you just the way you are. I promise, Im gonna make that happen.
Your respect means everything to me. And I don't want you to think that I am just my pussy.
Madison
My friends say that I'm too picky. That no guy is good enough. But the truth is, nobody picks me.
Serena
And all the dicks just went limp. She's boring! Goldberg, go! Make my pussy wet! Now!
Quinn
My friends are all married to very beautiful people who went to incredible schools and made sensible real estate investments for their future kids. The weird thing is, I did everything right.
Serena
I did everything just like them. My friends say I'm just too picky, that no guy is good enough. But the truth is, nobody picks me.
Rachel: You killed two people. What were you thinking? How do you even do that?
Jeremy: Because you told me to.
Rachel: No way. I was upset. I was venting to you.
Jeremy: Come on Rach, you know me. You knew I'd do something. You wanted me to.
Rachel. No. No.
Jeremy: I did it to keep you out of jail. Cuz I still love you.
Is that why you picked her? You think I'm her? Look at me. I'm not her. She is not the avatar for smart women everywhere. She is the star of a reality show that I have to make work!
Quinn
And panty drop! Now everyone wants him to be her husband.
Quinn
Chet: Why is Serena dressed like a nun?
Quinn: Because she dresses for other women, and that's why she's still single.
Are we ready to get this sausage party started? May they all be blessed with thick dicks and full heads of hair!
Quinn
Serena: I look like a stripper mermaid.
Quinn: Are you kidding me? You look amazing. I'd bang you standing up if I swung that way.
Serena: Rachel tell me the truth. Do I or do I not look like a stripper mermaid?
Rachel: This is how the girls on these shows dress. Sequins pop. Cleavage projects a certain willingness to participate in the process.
Serena: No. I brought my own dress. I'll wear that.
Quinn: That would be great if you were accepting a Nobel Prize. Not to catch a husband.
Serena: I don't know how to talk to people with my tits out this far.
Quinn: Well good news, no one's gonna be listening, just starring.
You are an overpaid incompetent man-baby who's riding on the backs of women who do all your work for you. You're too dumb to know how pathetic it is that we had to use you to push Serena through the network just because you were born with a dick! And I never understood what Quinn saw in your fat, sweaty, drug-addled ass, but whatever it was, you wasted the best years of her life and destroyed the one person who is ever gonna care about you. So that's the truth.
Rachel