Oh come on! You're going to kill me because I had fake sex on graph paper with a girl who barely spoke to you in real life?!

Dr. Venture

• Permalink: Oh come on! You're going to kill me because I had fake sex on gr...
• Added: October 21, 2009

The old fake coffin trick. Gadzooks, you think I would have remembered that one from "The Case of the Old Fake Coffin"

Action Man

• Permalink: The old fake coffin trick. Gadzooks, you think I would have reme...
• Added: October 21, 2009

Hank: So, how come you're not old and stuff like the others?
Otto: Oh, but I am. I'm half-Atlantean and so I age differently.
Dean: Wow. How do you get to be like that?
Action Man: A drunk sailor's gotta have his way with your mer-mom

• Permalink: So, how come you're not old and stuff like the others? Oh, but...
• Added: October 21, 2009

Hank: What was Underbheit like back in the old days?
Mr. White: Well, except for the metal jaw, pretty much the same. Total dick

• Permalink: What was Underbheit like back in the old days? Well, except fo...
• Added: October 21, 2009

Monarch: Hey! Let's move the Monarch Mobile to the other side of the lot. It'll totally screw with the henchmen's heads!
Dr. Girlfriend: I have never seen this side of you.

• Permalink: Hey! Let's move the Monarch Mobile to the other side of the lot....
• Added: October 21, 2009

Monarch: Look over there. It's the Bearded Spectre. Oh my god, look what he's got on...
Dr. Girlfriend: Are those giant shorts or tiny pants?

• Permalink: Look over there. It's the Bearded Spectre. Oh my god, look what ...
• Added: October 21, 2009

What can I do to [Dr. Venture] that life hasn't done to him already?

Monarch

• Permalink: What can I do to that life hasn't done to him already?
• Added: October 21, 2009

Here I am in the belly of the beast, and I don't even care. I don't even feel like taking a whiz on this. I used to dream of taking a whiz on this

Monarch

• Permalink: Here I am in the belly of the beast, and I don't even care. I do...
• Added: October 21, 2009

Dr. Girlfriend: Hey is that the guy from Depeche Mode?
Monarch: It is the guy from Depeche Mode. He's with a woman?
Dr. Girlfriend: Oh yeah, he's totally straight. I saw a story about him on the VH1.
Monarch: But he's the guy from Depeche Mode!

• Permalink: Hey is that the guy from Depeche Mode? It is the guy from Depe...
• Added: October 21, 2009

Dr. Orpheus: My friend! Bedlam has broken out athwart the Kingdom of Venture! Join me in battle!
Dr. Venture: Oh crap. Brock is never going to let me hear the end of this

• Permalink: My friend! Bedlam has broken out athwart the Kingdom of Venture!...
• Added: October 21, 2009

I'm not going to flush. Let them see the wrath of the Monarch!

Monarch

• Permalink: I'm not going to flush. Let them see the wrath of the Monarch!
• Added: October 21, 2009

Henchman 21: Here is where you are wrong, my friend. This woman has killed before.
Henchman 24: Allegedly.
Henchman 21: Okay, whatever. But she was a big girl. We are talking about a large, healthy woman of questionable stability.
Henchman 24: Oh, you are totally underestimating the never-say-die scrappiness of a survivor.
Monarch: Hey, guess what? Nobody cares who would win in a crazy fantasy fist-fight between Anne Frank and Lizzy Borden. We never should have brought the henchmen! We're going to be the only ones there with henchmen! I'm gonna have to kill them. Pull over if you see a good spot to dump their bodies!

• Permalink: Here is where you are wrong, my friend. This woman has killed be...
• Added: October 21, 2009